Maine 2015 - Day 1 - Old Friends

6/27/15, “Old Friends”

Hancock, New Hampshire

Here I am sitting outside at New Hampshire’s oldest inn.  It was established in 1789, the same year that George Washington became the first President of the United States, the same year the Constitution took effect.  Yesterday’s entry focused a lot on my political views and very little on my travels.  Today will be the opposite.  I made this trip to relax in Maine and to eat at three of New England’s most iconic restaurants, not to debate same-sex marriage.  However, sitting here at this historic inn, I cannot help but think how the Framers of the Constitution would have thought.

There was no debate on same-sex marriage in 1789.  Gays were considered evil or diseased or whatever.  However, I firmly believe that if John Hancock lived today, he would support same-sex marriage.  He would laud the decision of any state legislature that allowed same-sex marriages.  I do not, however, believe he would have allowed it as a right guaranteed by the Federal Constitution.  That said, there would have been rational debate on the issue.  If our framers were alive today and allowed to make a ruling, I'm inclined to believe that they would have overwhelming supported same-sex marriage as a legal right.  I'm inclined to believe that they would have dismissed the religious zealots who call homosexuality a sin.  I'm inclined to believe that they would have understood the science of today and made the right decision.

Times change, and views can change with it.  New facts come to light, the general views change, and society evolves.  People reexamine their beliefs and look at things in new ways.  If that was not the case, rational debate would not be the profitable activity it is.  My views on the issue have certainly changed over time.  They changed when I went to NYU and encountered gay men for the first time in my life.  They changed when I engaged in open discussions about sexuality.  They changed when I realized that homosexuality was not a joke to be made in a high school cafeteria.  They changed again when I fell in love with a lesbian, when I realized that, even if we could never date, she was the most wonderful person in the world, when I realized that she was someone I would do anything for.  They changed again yesterday morning when I read Kennedy’s Opinion.  People are entitled to make these changes, and John Hancock would think differently about these issues in 2015 than he would have in 1789.

This kind of rational debate is what was missing from this issue, and that was what so bothered me.  A fervent defense of same-sex marriage became the hottest issue on the liberal agenda, while condemnation of it became the backbone of the Christian Right.  Where was the middle ground?  Surely there were people who felt the middle ground and were too afraid to express that viewpoint without being attacked by both sides.  Not everyone can express their thoughts and feelings as eloquently as I.  Instead, they chose to remain silent, leading to a lack of debate, causing the issue to be decided by fiat instead of legislative reform.

It bothered me from the first federal court case where a district court ruled a Florida state law unconstitutional, and it bothered me as same-sex marriage became legalized in an additional 17 states in the same fashion.  It bothered me to such an extent that I could segregate my views on this lack of proper jurisprudence from my opinions on the merit of same-sex marriage.  It bothered me so much that I found myself opposed to same-sex marriage, hoping that the Supreme Court would overturn the federal court decisions that legalized same-sex marriage in 18 states.  That all changed when I read Kennedy’s Opinion.  How many other people changed their mind when they read his Opinion?  Too few I’m inclined to say because too few people examined this issue from a rational perspective, and that is a very unfortunate thing.

Alright, enough of this, and I have had a very interesting day of travel.  This is a Travelogue, and I will return my focus to my travels, but it is cold out here, and my laptop is dying, so I will head back inside before I continue.

Okay, I woke this morning slightly before 8 AM to a familiar chirp from my phone, indicating I had received a text message.  I knew who it was without having to look.  She is the only person who would text me before 8 AM on a Saturday and, more importantly, the only person whose texts I would answer before 8 AM on a Saturday.  The content of the discussion (the new Pixar movie) is not important.  What is important is that she is an old friend.  That is what the theme of this entry will be.  The thing about old friends is, friendships fade for a variety of reasons, but, when you reconnect with an old friend, it is like the lost years never happened.  Why does that happen?  Well, it’s quite simple, the friendship works now for all the reasons it worked before it faded away.

This particular friendship faded because of geography.  We reconnected over lunch nine months ago when we found ourselves in the city on the same day for the first time since we parted ways three years ago.  We instantly bonded at that lunch, and we have now been in constant communication, about our favorite movies, music, travels, whatever we find that bonds us.  It is a friendship that works.  That’s the key thing about any friendship, any relationship.  It doesn’t matter why it works.  It’s just important that it works.

One such text exchange we had yesterday was a few texts about the same-sex marriage ruling.  I had held off texting her about it, even though I was reading every word because, to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure how she felt about it.  I know she comes from a religious upbringing and has deeply set conservative political values.  I also knew that she has libertarian leanings, that she is one of the most compassionate people I know, and that I could not her imagine feeling hatred towards any group of people for who they are.

I got my answer in the form of an excited text with several rainbow emojis.  Oh, did I mention she’s also one of the biggest Harry Potter I know, that she practically worships J.K. Rowling?  I’m not sure if my reader is familiar with Rowling’s political views, but when it comes to equality and LGBTQ rights and same-sex marriage, there is no greater ally in the world than Rowling.  I began to wonder if perhaps my friend had once been opposed to same-sex marriage, only to be swayed by Rowling’s impassioned defense of it.

I began to wonder how many people Rowling had influenced, how many people Rowling had turned from prejudice to acceptance.  It’s probably a very large number, and, if my friend was in that group, it made me very happy.  I could be wrong.  She might have always been a supporter of same-sex marriage, but I guarantee there are plenty of people who have been swayed by Rowling.  In fact, I’d wager Rowling has changed more minds on the issue than anyone else in recent history.  Isn’t that a wonderful thing?  That a celebrity who is loved by her fans would use that to steer her fans away from prejudice and towards tolerance, acceptance, or even support.  It was a happy thought.

After I finished getting ready this morning, we headed down for a disappointing breakfast spread at the Hampton Inn, lacking compared to what I am used to seeing when I stay at a Hampton Inn.  The coffee was good, though.  We finished getting ready and headed to the State House and Museum.  I was pleasantly surprised to find a gift shop, where I procured a flag pin and a couple of keychains, before we headed to the State House to take our pictures.

I then lit up a Four Kicks, and we made our way from Augusta to Norway where my old friend was awaiting our arrival.  It had been at least a year since I had seen him, and we instantly reconnected.  It is funny how many of my old friends I met through the autograph collecting.  The friend who texted me this morning, the friend we were visiting, my travelling companion, the guy I have been constantly messaging about Game of Thrones theories, all of them I met through autographing.  All of them, I formed a bond when we met, lost touch with for a while, and was easily able to reconnect for the same reasons we had a bond when we first met.

He was renting a house and old dairy farm, the combined size of which was approximately 10,000 times the size of my apartment.  His rent was less than mine.  He gave us the scenic tour, and it was like I literally stepped into a different era.  Rustic, that’s the best word to describe it.  It looked like such a peaceful place to live.  “The Way Life Should Be” is Maine’s motto.  I have always felt that way, possibly never more so than this afternoon.  We then headed to lunch to a new restaurant he wanted to try.  From his description, it seemed like a chic new Italian place, but it just had traditional American food, burgers, chicken tenders, steaks, etc.  The portions were big, and we couldn’t finish everything.

Afterwards, we headed across the street to the waterfront, where we sat in a gazebo and enjoyed the scenery.  I lit up an Hoyo de Monterrey, which I had been saving for this occasion.  After the cigar was done, we went to the ice cream shack, since no trip to Maine could be complete without blueberry ice cream.  We had gotten so lost enjoying each other’s company, discussing celebrities and autographs, that the time had gotten away from us.  It was now becoming a tight schedule to get to hotel by 8 PM for the last seating at the restaurant.

Having dinner at the restaurant was the main reason I had chosen this hotel.  There is a list of the most iconic restaurant in each state.  I am trying to dine at each of those 51 restaurants.  If it were not for that list, we would have been staying in Portland tonight, instead of driving three hours to New Hampshire.  We returned to the house, and my friend told me that his wife should be home by then.  It occurred to me I had never even seen a picture of her.  Apparently, she does not like him to post pictures of her on Facebook.  She was there when we arrived, but it was hello and goodbye, since we needed to head to the hotel with all due speed.

As we drove, my travelling companion said that he could never live here, that it was too boring.  It was ironic, since I was having the exact opposite thought, how wonderful it would be to live here.  This was, quite literally, the way life should be.  I was so exhausted from the heat that I couldn’t even think about a cigar.  It was a three-hour drive, and I only smoked one cigar the entire drive, a Cabaiguan.  We got to the hotel with time to spare, and this was very much the historic inn I imagined.  In fact, they didn’t even have a free table at the restaurant, so they told us we could get settled in and come down at 8:15 PM for dinner.

The restaurant was certainly iconic, even if the menu was not, but I did my best to order what I imagined would pass for colonial fare.  I got a charcuterie appetizer, along with a local beer, and beef and lamb for my main course, both of which were too fatty.  I was too hungry to care, and I imagined that meat in colonial times was just as fatty.  I got a dessert for later and then went upstairs.  I soon went outside, enjoying the summer New England atmosphere, along with the historic Colonial feel of the neighborhood.  I responded to the email chain I had started with my father and his friends about the same-sex marriage decision and lit up an Avo.  I then proceeded to write this entry.  After my cigar, I headed up to the room, where I finished the entry which I will now close, as it is close to midnight, and I have long day of driving ahead of me tomorrow.