10/10/14
Portland, Maine
Having exhausted my philosophical musings on love during my previous
trip and having come to the realization that the Greeks got it right, that
there are four types of love (agape, eros, philia, and storge), and that any
discourse that would try to come up with something that explains all four types
in one manner is an exercise in futility, I will focus on a new topic for this
trip, possibly the single most vexing philosophical topic in all of philosophy:
free will. In order to even begin to
have a debate on free will, you have to answer three basic questions. What is free will? Does free will exist? Is free will compatible with determinism?
I was telling Ryan and Emily last night that
this was probably the one topic in philosophy where I didn’t know where I
stood. The physicist/engineer in me
agrees with Hawking that the brain is made up of particles and that particles
is follow the laws of physics so that free will is an illusion. The philosopher in me disagrees and rejects
it as too simplistic that the laws of physics that control the particles in my
brain are what prevents me from jumping out of the 27th floor of my
office building when I look down out the window. At work today, I was thinking that there was
a better way of looking at it. Our
actions are not random enough for it determinism to be true. Whenever I leave for a trip, I always go to Hop Won for my last lunch before I leave. That
cannot be attributed to the laws of physics.
It can only be the result of my mind choosing to do it.
As I was driving today, I realized that I
might have gotten it wrong there. Maybe
that is just how my brain is wired, to want that kind of consistency. I’m sure all of my readers at one point in
their lives have uttered the phrase, “I am not the kind of person that is
capable of X.” In that case, are you not
simply saying, it is determined that I will never do X? Are you not saying, the way the particles in
my brain are wired prevent me from ever doing X? Is that not a form of determinism? I’m not going to even explore the quantum
aspect of this other than to briefly mention that I considered that
consciousness is us simply being aware of the effects of the quantum mechanics
of the particles in our brain. Under
that theory, what we call free will would simply be the quantum choices that
are made, according the laws of physics.
I rejected that since there is not enough randomness. Why would I not have a burger lunch before I leave for a trip if quantum mechanics was what was making the decision for me? It does not make any sense. How is self-preservation explained by quantum
mechanics? Now, there are many arguments
to be made in favor in determinism, and I could argue plenty myself. However, I refuse to listen to any argument
unless said proponent of determinism can first explain to me what consciousness
is. There can be no debate on
determinism until that question is answered.
First, explain me to me how the laws of physics and interaction of
particles give rise to consciousness.
I
understand that is a very dangerous game to play since someone turn the
argument around and then ask me how to explain consciousness without the existence
of god. I’m not sure how to answer
that. In fact, I can think of no
explanation that allows for both atheism and free will libertarianism. The only answer I can offer is that just
because I am unable to explain it does not mean that it is not true. It certainly does not offer any evidence to
support the tradition Judeo-Christian view of god, but it does lend credence to
the Cartesian idea of god. It is on that
note that I will end my meditations for today and move on to the adventures of
the day.
I woke up relatively early, but
I hadn’t packed last night, and there was so much to do get ready that I wound
up being 12 minutes late to work (5, technically, since 9:07 is considered the
latest I can arrive without being late).
My pants were not back from the cleaners yet, so I had to scramble to find
my old grey suit. I couldn’t find
it. Eventually, I realized that I had
just repurposed that suit into a pair of slacks and a sports coat. I had been wearing the suit pants all week
and that jacket had come back from the cleaners earlier this week. I was in such a rush that I wound up
forgetting two things. I realized I had
forgotten my coat as soon as I walked out the door, but I was already running
late, and I didn’t want to turn around.
I figured that I could just tough it out.
It
was a busy and funny day at work, and I wound up making up the 15 minutes at
the end, staying past our 3:30 PM official closing time. I got my usual at Hop Won for my
pre-departure lunch. As I was eating and
thinking about all the pre-departure lunches I had there, I realized that I had
forgotten something else, something that I could just tough out: my
passport. I biked to my apartment, got my passport and coat, and went back to the
office, and I finished my day at work, spending too much time joking with Young
about cigars before we reviewed the last proposal. There was a 4:21 PM train and a 4:42 PM
train. I would be taking the 4:42 PM
train. I picked up some Quest bars as I
headed to the cigar store, and I bought a few additional cigars to supplement
my stash. I lit up the Tattoo, and
finished it with enough time to make the train.
I realized that I had forgotten to transfer my photos to my computer and
was stuck with over 1000 photos on my phone and no way of backing them up to anything
other than the computer I was bringing with me.
I also forgot to refill my water bottle and my lighter. I forgot a lot of things today. The train was crowded, and I transferred my
photos to my laptop during the ride. I
got my car, got situated, and got on the road.
I lit up my Nic Toro, which is always my first cigar of the first long
drive of my trip, and I soon hit some traffic.
It didn’t matter. All was
well. I was happy, I was listening to
Frozen, and I had my Nic Toro. After the
traffic cleared, I stopped at a Burger King not far off the road, but the drive
through line took like 10 minutes. I ate
as I drove, and I lit up my Avo, putting on Les Miz. After I finished the Avo, I had a Quest bar
and lit up a La Duena.
I did not finish
that cigar by the time I got to my hotel, but I sat in my car for a minutes and
browsed Facebook. I saw that one of the
guys from my Birthright trip had posted that he was eating a restaurant on Fore
Street. My hotel was on Fore
Street. Was it the same Fore Street in
Portland? It was. I messaged him, but he had already left
Portland by the time he saw it. It was
too cold to smoke outside, and I didn’t want to sit in the car for 20
minutes. I wound up sneaking the cigar
up to my room, and I had a smoking room, so that was good. I took my time getting settled in as I
finished the cigar. I then lit up an
Ardor and proceeded to write this entry.
The bowl smoked way to fast, so I refilled it. The second bowl is smoking slower but still
too fast. It is now 1:30 AM, so I will
close. I can take my time in the
morning, but I would like to get a decent night’s sleep.
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