Mission

“These are the voyages of the traveler Steven. Its five-year mission: to explore the strange world, to seek out life and civilizations, to boldly go where few men have gone before.”

When I set out to see the world, my goal was to check off a bunch of boxes. I set some goals, got a full-time job, added some more goals, learned that taking 50 vacation days a year was not considered acceptable, figured out how to incorporate all of the goals I set, and had at it. My goal was never to explore new cultures, yet that is what these voyages have become. I have started to understand foreign cultures, but I have learned one fundamental truth. Human beings are, for the most part, the same.

Friday, September 12, 2014

27th Birthday Bash - Day 0 - An Old Friend

9/12/14
John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York (JFK)


Of all the social interactions known to man, it is quite possible that none is more enjoyable than catching up with an old and dear friend.  I have had the pleasure of experiencing that twice in the past two months.  In order to properly set the scene, we must rewind to the summer of 2012.  It was the end of a dark time for me.  I had been coming out of a severe depression that had lasted about 3 years.  After a year of doing pretty much nothing other than collecting celebrity autographs, as a hobby, I had started to feel better about myself, to realize that I could find happiness and joy out of life.  However, it was not a long term solution.  There was no money in doing what I was doing the way I was doing it, and the people who did it as a business were miserable.  The people who worked for the dealers were even more miserable and wretched creatures.  I was smarter than anyone of them, and I had every opportunity available to me.  What was I doing?  Was it my lot to squeak a living among these people once I was forced to think about money?  I decided to go back to school.  I had dropped out of NYU after two years, getting distracted by the social opportunities available to me, unable to focus on my studies, unable to even attend class.

For 4 years, I eschewed the things that had so distracted me, practically losing all interest in women, alcohol, and friends.  The desire for friendship came back first.  As I started hanging out with the other autographers, I developed bonds and friendships with them.  Next came the alcohol.  There were plenty of chances to drink, and sitting around waiting for a celebrity become a lot more enjoyable with some vodka and a cigar.  But it was the last aspect that I was afraid would never return.  I have wracked my brains, gone back through my timelines, rethought my entire life during those four years.  In those four years, there were only two girls in whom I was even the slightest bit interested.  That’s the key word, interested, not desired, not passionate about, just interested.

In the summer of 2012, that changed.  As I was waiting for celebrities at the Tony’s, there was a woman standing there.  Correction, no, she was a girl, not yet 21 at the time.  I was almost 25.  She lived in Florida.  There was no future there, but she was tremendously alive.  There was a fire to her, and I instantly knew she had a personality of the type I find most attractive.  Within an hour of having met her, I felt an emotion I had not felt in 4 years: passion.  I don’t think that I was ever in love with her, but that moment, that spark that I felt reminded me that I could fall in love again.  It reminded me that one day I would find someone who could evoke that same passion and who would be right for me, with whom everything could work out.  It reminded me that one day I would find someone whom I would love in every sense in the word.  It gave me hope.  Isn’t it remarkable how one fleeting thought can change your life?  The feeling was gone almost as soon as it began, and we saw each other a couple of times before we parted ways.

We had not seen each other in over 2 years, though we continued to interact electronically, developing a bond over a shared sense of humor and mutual interests.  The passion that had disappeared even before I got on that plane to Nashville was slowly replaced by a genuine fondness.  In one of my previous entries I wrote how there are only 20-30 people in the world about whom I truly care.  A week ago I decided to enumerate that list.  Including myself, I came up with 20 names, and I was shocked and surprised with whom made the list and did not make it.  I was not surprised  when I put her name on the list.  She is like a sister to me, in some sort of way.  I am happy when she posts happy posts on Facebook, and I am upset when I see her sad.  She has been in New York several times since then, but I have always been out of town.  She was coming back this weekend, and there was a chance we’d be able to meet for lunch.  As my readers know, whenever I embark on a trip, I always go to Hop Won for my last lunch.  I was not about to go to Hop Won with her.  She told me to choose some place awesome.  I already had: Pershing Square CafĂ©.  It was convenient, and the food there is excellent.

When I saw her walking towards me, it was as if I was seeing a little sister return from college.  The conversation was effortless, our shared humor and mutual interests making it flow smoothly.  She ragged on her friends and told me about this guy friend that has a crush on her.  She said that she was convinced that he was in love with her.  “Who isn’t?” I asked.  She got a kick out of that.  As she kept talking about how much this guy was obsessed with her, I said, “Such is the curse of being a beautiful woman.”  She laughed and twirled her hair, saying, “I know.”  The hour was over as soon as it began, just as was that hour I spent with her at the Tony’s.  We got cupcakes from Baked by Melissa, and I got frosting all over my fingers, but we didn’t have any napkins.  I didn’t feel self-conscious about licking my fingers clean in front of her.  When we got to my building, I hugged her again and kissed her goodbye on the top of her head, the same as I would if I had a little sister about to go off to college.  I am not in love with her, but I certainly love her very much.

I finished some stuff up at work, headed to the cigar store for the event, worked myself a good deal on bonuses with the box of cigars, headed up to Columbus Circle to get my International Driver’s Permit, headed to the airport, managed to get some Chinese from Panda Express as my pre-departure meal, sat down at the gate, and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close.

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