Mission

“These are the voyages of the traveler Steven. Its five-year mission: to explore the strange world, to seek out life and civilizations, to boldly go where few men have gone before.”

When I set out to see the world, my goal was to check off a bunch of boxes. I set some goals, got a full-time job, added some more goals, learned that taking 50 vacation days a year was not considered acceptable, figured out how to incorporate all of the goals I set, and had at it. My goal was never to explore new cultures, yet that is what these voyages have become. I have started to understand foreign cultures, but I have learned one fundamental truth. Human beings are, for the most part, the same.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Yucatan 2016: The Experience - Day 1 - Old Cities

1/16/16, “Old Cities”

Chichen-Itza, Yucatan, Mexico

I told you this wouldn’t be a beach trip.  Where I am now, is the big tourist cultural destination for the beachgoers in Cancun.  It is a New7 Wonder of the World, and a World Heritage Site.  We will be visiting two more today, two tomorrow, and the last one on Monday.  This is the heavily trafficked one.  The others, not so much.  This is the famous one.  The others, not so much.  By the end of this year, I will have visited all of the New7 Wonders of the World, with upcoming trips to Peru, Rio, and Rome required to fulfill that goal.  I believe that I have been here before, but it does not look familiar.  I certainly do not have a ceremonial picture with my cigar and water bottle.  I certainly do not have the replica for my desk.  I have all of that now.

To call this a wonder seems a bit of an overstatement.  Impressive, yes, but more impressive than Stonehenge or the statues on Easter Island?  I think not.  Like the Taj Mahal and unlike the Great Wall, it has the Grand Canyon moment.  It is just one big pyramid, along with some surrounding sites, but the pyramid is the wonder.  The rest are just part of the WHS.

We woke up early and headed downstairs for a meager breakfast.  It had eggs with bacon and other continental fare.  It filled us up.  It also had coffee.  It was enough.  We had a little trouble figuring how to get on the highway, but that did not delay us much.  All told we were only about an hour behind schedule.  We would make that up by switching two sites that would create an extra hour of driving, but it would be end of the day driving, which would not affect our sightseeing.

I put on Red and lit up my Davidoff Escurio Toro once we got on the highway, which indicated the beginning of the first drive of the trip.  I was dead tired.  Once I was done with the cigar, I napped a bit.  We were soon at Chichen-Itza.  We got our tickets and headed through the gate.  We quickly found the Plaque and then tried to determine the best photo spot.  There was one small problem.


In order to recreate the inscription photo we would need to shoot in to the sun.  It was impossible to see anything like that.  I lit up a Cohiba Siglo IV, and we took our ceremonial pictures.  We then headed to the other side to take some better pictures.  I got my souvenirs, and then Roberto took his leave of me to do some more exploring.  I found a nice seat in front of the pyramid, where I sat down and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close as I await Roberto’s return so that we can head to our next site.


Felipe Carrillo Puerto, Quintana Roo, Mexico


Well, it’s been about 15 hours since I closed, and it has been a rather adventurous 15 hours.  While Felipe Carrillo Puerto is not the recognizable name of Quebec or Hong Kong, the eponymous capitals of their subnational entities, where I have previously smoked my 2011 Christmas Pipe, it is no less intriguing of a locale.  It is the closest outpost of civilization to our first destination for tomorrow, Si’an World Heritage Site.  I use that term loosely.  It is basically a rundown village with a hotel.  It is the middle of the jungle.  This road in front of me is the main highway.  Our hotel is right off of it.  I am dead tired, and we need to wake up in not much more than three hours, so I will not be able to properly do justice to today’s events, though I will try my best.

After I closed, I waited for Roberto, and then I waited some more.  I did not think he would be late.  He was in as much of a rush as I was to get to the next two sites.  Incidentally, today will be my last ever day that I visit three new World Heritage Sites in North America.  The ones that remain are just too scattered to ever triple up.  Actually, wait, no, that’s not true.  Depending on how I time two trips in Atlantic Canada, I might get one or two more of those days.

Anyway, Roberto.  He didn’t come.  I looked around for him.  No, something was wrong.  My first thought was maybe he thought I said to meet him by the entrance.  But, then, wouldn’t he have seen me by the pyramid.  I started to panic.  We were tight for time, or so I thought.  What if I couldn’t find him?  What would I do?  Well, I asked around, showing a picture of him.  The guard told me that he had gone to the observatory about five minutes ago.  No, that couldn’t be.  It had already been half an hour at that point.  I checked anyway.  Someone else confirmed they had seen him walking back from the observatory to the pyramid.  I looked all over.  Still couldn’t find him.  I kept looking.  We did not have a signal inside, but we would by the entrance.  I asked vendors along the way back to the entrance, along with a guard by the entrance.

No one had seen him.  Where could he be?  I walked back to the pyramid.  I came up with a plan.  I would check by the entrance, and, if he wasn’t there, I’d break down in tears and call my mother and see if she could find him.  It seemed as good of a plan as any.  “Migo!”  I turned around.  There was Roberto walking towards me.  Sure enough, he had been by the entrance all along, which was my first instinct.  We could have saved half an hour if I had gone there right away.  It cost us lunch.

We made our to our next destination, another Mayan city, Uxmal, and I relit my Cohiba.  We got pulled over for speeding.  A small bribe made that go away.  I took a bit of a nap en route, as we continued to listen to Taylor Swift.  Soon enough, we were at Uxmal.

We grabbed a quick bite to eat (pizza and Diet coke for me) at the entrance.  I just wanted to take a picture at the plaque, light my cigar, and take a picture at the inscription photo.  It’s funny, since Roberto follows me on social media so much, he knows all my routines.  He knows all my little rituals.  There were no shocks for him in my abbreviated visits to these sites.



After the Plaque, I lit up a Punch, and we found the inscription photo at the Governor’s Palace, which involved a steep climb in the sweltering heat.  As were leaving, it finally hit me.  This wasn’t just a collection of neat-looking ruins.  It used to be a city, with a Governor.  Like, shit actually happened there.  It was a fun thought to think as we left.



Roberto then said it was my turn to drive.  Reader, this is the sixth time I have been to Mexico.  I have never driven in Mexico before.  Roberto assured me that I could go as fast as I wanted, that my American passport and a small bribe would get me out of any trouble.  I broke 161 km/h (100 mph) as soon as I deemed it safe to do.  Our next stop was the old city of Campeche, but sunset was at 5:45 PM.  I had thought it to be about 3:15 PM when we left.  The drive was estimated at 2.5 hours.  It would be tight timing.  I had forgotten to account for the time zone.

Fortunately, it was an error in our favor, for now at least.  My phone had actually been reporting a time an hour ahead ever since we left the state of Quintana Roo this morning.  That meant it was actually 2:15 PM, and I managed to shave half an hour off, listening to 1989 and enjoying an Aging Room en route, arriving in Campeche at 4:15 PM, which was plenty of time to explore the city.

However, Roberto had no idea where the Plaque or the inscription photo (a yellow building) was.  There were lots of similar looking yellow buildings.  In fact, the town was full of them.  This would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.  We found the Plaque quite by accident.  We literally parked next to it.  We took some ceremonial pictures, and I lit up a Churchill.  Roberto then saw a cop car.


He asked them about the photo.  They recognized the building but thought it had been repainted.  The good news was they knew exactly where it was.  We first went to get my souvenirs and then quickly found the building, which actually did have its original paint color.  Holy fuck!  I think I just heard and saw some bats behind me.




Okay, after that was done, we headed to the fort, stopping for gas on the way.  My brother called me, asking me to explain the new Star Wars movie to him, which I did.  We got to the fort and took some more ceremonial pictures there.  We then headed back to the main plaza to get dinner at a traditional-fare restaurant.




We ordered way too much food.  I got their chimichanga specialty for the appetizer, and we shared all the main courses, including shark (yes, shark) tacos, a special chicken cutlet, empanadas, and another chicken dish.  We each had two Diet Cokes to drink, and I also had a piña colada, just ’cause.  I agreed to do another round of driving, since we had 4-5 hours to get to our hotel.  I would drive for one big cigar.  We picked up snacks and a bottle of water at the Oxxo before we continued.

I opted for an Aroma de Cuba (a Dominican cigar), since Campeche so reminded me of Havana.  Actually, so many tropical cities share that look, from Hamilton to Panama City to St. John’s to Campeche, with the colorful painted houses and the charming rustic mystique.  I did my share of driving, and we got stopped at a military checkpoint, which led to an extensive search of our car.  We did the switch there.  We switched up the music a bit, and I continued a conversation with my friend that I had begun at dinner, of course about the Oscar nominees, talking about Mad Max and the technical awards, and different scenarios how everything could play out.  Like, well, if this movie wins this award, it’ll also win that award and that movie will win this award.

I napped a little while we drove, though it kept getting broken up by checkpoints and slowing down for small towns.  Eventually, we arrived in the small town of Felipe Carrillo Puerto, which I described in the opening.  We got to our hotel, and the guy at the front desk had no record of my reservation.  He had no computer system.  He just took down my name (no credit card information) and handed us a key.  We got settled in, and then I grabbed my stuff and headed outside.  I found a nice bench, where I lit up my 2011 Christmas Pipe and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that I can publish and get some sleep.  With the time zone difference, I might actually manage the full three hours.

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