The Borderlands: The Experience - Day 3 - The Return Journey

10/31/16, “The Return Journey”

En route, NYC Airporter 620

Well, there is not much left to report.  The Return Journey was almost entirely unadventurous.  This will actually probably be one of my shortest entries ever.

After I closed at Hermosillo, I headed through security with no event.  For once, I remembered to get my Sunday paper, and we were soon boarding.  We had to walk on the tarmac to our plane and board by a staircase.  I slept almost the entire way to Benito Juarez.  After we landed, I was starving, so I stopped at a 7-Eleven for hot dogs before I went to my usual spot, where I lit up an Hoyo de Monterrey and proceeded to write the preceding entry.

After I closed, I got my usual donut (or two) at Krispy Kreme by the entrance, along with an espresso.  I ate one then and saved the other for the airplane, hoping to induce a sugar crash that would help me sleep on the plane.  Security gave me some trouble about a souvenir painted rock I had gotten at Pinacate, but they let me keep it in the end.

The boarding gate was the same gate where I overslept and almost missed my flight the last time I did a two-day weekend trip to Mexico.  This time, there was no such trouble.  Overindulging, I got a churro and another espresso.  At this point, I began to fear that the espresso would negate the sugar crash.  I did not have to worry about that.  I fell asleep almost as soon as we took off, waking up as began our descent.  The flight was a little behind schedule, which meant the hard 9 AM arrival at the office was looking like an impossibility.  I would have needed to make the 7:30 AM bus for that, or else take a taxi, but the extra cost of a taxi is more than double my hourly wage, so that didn’t make sense for being less than an hour late.  We didn’t land until after 7:30 AM.  Fortunately, our gate was right by border control, and, though the customs officer grilled me pretty hard, I cleared border control with no further delay.

It was about 7:50 AM at this point, and the 8 AM bus would get me to the office by 9:30 AM.  I went to get my coffee and came back a few minutes before 8 AM, just as the bus was pulling up.  Well, it turned out that that was the 8:30 AM bus, and they had no idea what happened to the 8 AM bus.  They moved the 8:30 AM bus up to 8:15 AM, but it was still only slightly before 9 AM by the time they cycled the other terminals and left the airport, though I was still looking good for a hard 10 AM arrival at the office.  Once we left the airport, I proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close, along with closing out this trip.  Next stop: Atlanta for my annual Ayn Rand Conference, this year entitled “Live Free and Thrive”.

The Borderlands: The Experience - Day 2 - Gran Desierto

10/30/16, “Gran Desierto”

Puerto Penasco, Sonora, Mexico (El Pinacate and Gran Desierto de Altar Biospher Reserve)

A great expanse of desert spans the southwestern United States and norther Mexico, and it contains some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, both cultural, as we visited yesterday, and natural, as we are now visiting.  Throughout that entire desert, though, there are only two areas inscribed as World Heritage Sites for their natural features.  The Grand Canyon is one.  This is the other.  Framed by the Pinacate volcano shield, the Gran Desierto is one of the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen.

There is nothing like this anywhere else in the world.  It is the stuff that makes Westerns great.  I feel like I could be in a scene out of a Sergio Leone movie.  I supposer I should be smoking a Toscano, then, instead of this Montecristo, but the Cuban will do for now.  I will soon be flying home, and I have a tight schedule to make my flight, so, once more, I just wanted to fit in a brief entry at the WHS.  I will have plenty of time at the airports and en route to go on about the magic of this region.

After I closed last night, I soon went to bed.  We both woke up ahead of schedule, and we were out the door before the alarm went off.  I slept for most of the rid, and, after about two hours, we arrived at the entrance station.  The Plaque was right there.  We paid the entrance fee and took our pictures with the Plaque.  We were tight on time, so we would have to race through to do the loop.  That we did.  It was such a beautiful drive, and, as Taylor Swift might say, this is what I came for.

We first stopped at the main crater, where I lit up my Montecristo, and we took our ceremonial pictures.  Then it was back on the road.  I didn’t think I could find the exact inscription spot, but, eventually, we found a nice pull-out with a good landscape view.  I decided that would suffice, so we took our ceremonial pictures there.  After we took our pictures, I sat down and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that we can begin The Return Journey.

Hermosillo International Airport, Sonora, Mexico (HMO)

Ah, here it is, just 36 hours after I wrote from Benito Juarez, it is time for the triumphant airport entry.  We did it.  We saw the two World Heritage Sites we meant to see, and that was all that mattered.  In four months, we will meet again to finish our adventures in Mexico and at last say, “Mexico Complete.”  For now, though, I am pleased to be able to add this airport to the long list of places around the world where I have smoked my Ardor, as I have been doing for the past eight months.  Soon, though, I will be switching to my Christmas Pipes for these entries, each of which of have their storied past of the places they’ve been smoked around the world.  I will take this time to reflect on the natural elements of this region and save the cultural elements for Benito Juarez.  As I have said, it is region unlike any other in the world.

From Texas to California, the American version has some of our most beautiful National Parks, all of which I have now visited, though some National Monuments do remain.  However, this World Heritage Site we visited today gives them a run for their money.  It was a great place to finish off my time in this region, for now at least.  I am sure I will return soon enough.  I know that I owe Taos another visit, but that is a cultural site.  I remember that morning four years ago when I went to Joshua Tree National Park.  I loved that desert landscape.  I suppose that was the beginning of my love affair with this desert region.  The trip I took with my parents a dozen years before that was more of a Western trip than a Southwest trip, but I guess that was what set it all in motion.  While the Grand Canyon is surely in the Southwest, as is Mesa Verde, I would hesitate to consider the National Parks in Utah to be part of this region.

I have trying to make this trip for so long, planning and cancelling it more than once.  Finally, at last, I have done it.  I was glad to have Roberto along, both for his companionship and because I know how hard it would have been to have done solo.  I slept more this trip in the car than I did in a bed.  I loved the stunning landscapes I saw, just as I have loved them in California and Arizona and New Mexico and Texas.  The fauna of the desert has its own beauty, but it is the mountain backdrops that I so love.

I always love the mountains, and it is why I so loved my trips to the Canadian Rockies and the Pacific Northwest.  While glaciated mountains have their own beauty, I love the desert mountains just as much.  (Cue Robert Frost’s “Fire and Ice”.)  I think it is the sense of being in pristine wilderness that makes it so magical, that these landscapes seem to have been untouched since the dawn of time, that perhaps even the dinosaurs once saw these exact landscapes.  I suppose that’s all I have to say on this matter.  While it is my tradition to treat the entirety of the Return Journey as one, I will break tradition in the interest of expediency.

After I closed at the Gran Desierto, we made our way to the VC, which was an eco-friendly building, powered by its own solar panels and wind turbine.  We lit up Gurkhas, which would last quite a while, and the VC had a proper gift shop, so I got my souvenirs.  After we finished at the VC, we retrieved our Gurkhas and hit the road again.  I passed out after I finished my Gurkha, and we stopped back in Caborca for lunch, at a Chinese food buffet.

It was very cheap and surprisingly good.  While I am no stranger to eating Chinese food in Canada, this was the first time I have so indulged in Mexico.  I lit up a Graycliff after our meal, and we headed straight to the airport.  I passed out again after the Graycliff and woke up much sooner than expected, as Roberto had made great time, and we were arriving at Hermosillo.

We stopped at a gas station to fill up and clean out the car.  We also got some caffeine and sparkling water.  After that, we were soon at the airport, and we said our goodbyes, reminding each other we’d be seeing each other in four months.  That was that.  I checked in and then headed back outside, where I sat down, lit up my Ardor, and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close, as I need to soon head to security.

Benito Juarez International Airport, Federal District, Mexico (MEX)

Well, here I am, writing once more from my familiar spot at Benito Juarez, where I have now ended six trips to Mexico, about to board once more AM 400 back to Kennedy.  It is a very familiar process.  I think it is safe to say that I have now flown in and out of this airport more than I have flown in and out of any airport outside of New York.  I suppose Atlanta would be the closest contender.  Internationally, it would have to be Heathrow, which is ironic since those will be the next two places I fly after this trip.

Okay, so this would be the usual time where I reflect on my trip, but, well, I don’t really have anything on which to reflect.  I was still at Kennedy 48 hours ago, and I only spent about 30 hours on the ground in the Borderlands.  Roberto and I enjoyed our time together, and I enjoyed the food and tobacco I consumed.  That’s really all there is to say about it.  The time sites we saw, spending only an hour or so at each site, were both marvelous, and I will shortly reflect on the culture aspects of the region, but that was the heart of the trip.

To me, this trip was basically an errand run, and how do you reflect on a trip to the grocery store?  I went to the Borderlands with the intention of visiting two World Heritage Sites, and we saw both of them.  That’s all there is to say.  I have already applied the appropriate superlatives to the two sites, so I suppose the broader reflection is now in order.

I need a better name for the region instead of just calling it “the southwestern United States and northern Mexico.”  I’m going to call it the North American Desert, much the same as I call the combined region of Central America and the Caribbean, “The North American Tropics”.  Okay, so the region is laden with culture.  The most prominent, of course, being the Native American culture.  Yes, other regions of the United States have Native American cultural sites and ruins, but the ones in the North American Desert our best preserved.  I suppose that there is a simple reason for this.  Clay preserves better than wood and cloth, and lumber is not as readily available in the North American Desert as it is on the Eastern Seaboard and the Pacific Northwest.

There are also a multitude of sites various other Mesoamerican cultures, such as the Mayans and Aztecs, spread throughout Mexico and Central America.  Those ruins, and I have visited each and every one of them with a World Heritage Site inscription, are wondrous in their own right, but it is not the same as these sites in the North American Desert.  The ones inscribed as World Heritage Sites are, again, Mesa Verde, Chaco Culture (including Aztec Ruins), Taos Pueblo, and Casas Grandes (Paquime).  They all have a very similar look, and it has been wonderful to visit those sites over the past 15 or so years.  I will visit some other NPS-designated sites in this region in the years to come, but the main ones are the ones I have visited thus far.

The food here, is, of course, beyond iconic.  It has inspired two of the country’s most popular food chains (Taco Bell and Chipotle).  I love eating this food.  Meat and cheese wrapped in fried bread.  What’s not to love about that?  Fried chips with various sauces, perfect.  There is still some remnant of cowboy culture here, but it is drowned out by the imprint that Native American and Mexican culture left on the region.  I should not that I keep calling it “here”, though I am technically not “there” anymore, this airport being in Central Mexico and no longer in the desert region.

My trips in the near future will take me to islands all around the world.  Actually, the only non-island trip I will take in the next year to a place outside of the North American mainland is the second half of my Thanksgiving trip.  England, Jamaica, Australia, Hispaniola, the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, Iceland, Greenland, and the South Pacific are all islands.  Even my two remaining Canada trips will almost be entirely spent on islands.

The non-island trips will mostly be to coastal regions of North America, though I do have a trip to northern Texas and Oklahoma planned, along with a return to Taos.  It promises to be an exciting 10 more months before I leave for Hawaii, and I’m ready for it.  I can feel the home stretch winding down.  I will return to tradition at this point and treat the Return Journey from HMO to JFK in its entirety once I get home, so I can publish this now.

The Borderlands: The Experience - Day 1 - Casas Grandes

10/29/16, “Casas Grandes”

Benito Juarez International Airport, Federal District, Mexico

Well, here I am, beginning my trip in the same spot where my past five trips to Mexico have come to a close.  In about 40 hours, I will be back in this very spot, writing another entry.  Two Days, two World Heritage Sites, one cultural and one natural.  That’s all this trip is.  It will be a complete blitz.  Today it is the cultural site, Casas Grandes, not far outside of Ciudad Juarez.  Roberto will be meeting me here soon, and then we will fly together from here to Juarez.  Tonight, we will overnight in Puerto Penasco, then, the natural site tomorrow: El Pinacate and Gran Desierto.  After we see that site, Roberto will drop me off at the airport in Hermosillo, and I will fly back this to the airport and then to Kennedy, getting back to work by 9 AM tomorrow morning.  As I said, a blitz.

While the trip itself is short, it will not be as jam-packed as some of our other adventures.  There will be no late nights or super early mornings or racing from place to place before things close.  Instead, since we are only visiting one site per day, it will be at a much more relaxed place.  Our quest towards “Mexico Complete” is drawing down, and the land next and last one will be our most epic yet.  I don’t have else much to report, and Roberto will be here soon, so I will just wrap up.

After I closed at Kennedy, I went back to the first corridor again to get my usual overpriced ice cream bar, along with another seltzer, from the usual Turkish place I go to at Terminal 1.  The boarding process was as dysfunctional as the rest of the departure, and the line moved more slowly and erratically than I can ever remember.  I fell asleep almost as soon as we took off, waking up as we made our descent.

I headed to border control, glad to be able to skip the line with my new enrollment into the Viajero Confiable program.  It took me a bit to find out where the machines were, but, once I did, it was a relatively painless process.  I continued to clear customs and then went to the same spot where Roberto and I had breakfast at this airport just eight weeks ago, though it feels like much longer.  I even sat at the same table, in the same seat.  I got their house breakfast, along with a fried egg, and some coffee.  It was a traditional Mexican breakfast, and it was quite good.  After breakfast, I went outside to my usual spot, where I lit up a Romeo y Julieta and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close, as Roberto will be here in a few minutes.

Casas Grandes, Chihuahua, Mexico (Archaelogical Zone of Paquime)

Well, here we are, this is it.  It has been over 20 hours since I left my apartment, and we have at long last reached the first of our two destiantions.  This is the cultural one, an archaeological site that resembles so much the other similar sites I have visited in the Southwest, such as Mesa Verde, Chaco Culture, and Taos Pueblos.  I never fail to be amazed by these sites, the subtle and quaint beauty of the enchanting ruins.  Unfortunately, this is last such WHS I will visit, though I think I am missing a few similar National Park Sites in the Southwest, but those are for another time.  We are short on time, and I will reflect more properly on both the culture and nature of the Southwest (and the corresponding parts of Mexico) at the end of this trip, but I just wanted to fit in an entry here, so I will wrap it up as quicky as possible.

After I closed at Benito Juarez, I soon met Roberto, and we headed to our gate.  I picked up some more cigars at the newsstand and got a coffee, both of which were a process.  Before long, we were boarding the plane.  The seat next to me was empty, so Roberto was able to sit there, the first time we have ever flown together.  Trains and cars, yes, but never a plane.  I slept most of the flight to Ciudad Juarez (not to be confused with Benito Juarez).

When we approached our destination from overhead, it looked like there was not a single sign of civilization in sight, and the city of Juarez looked so out of place.  There was a secondary immigration control at the airport, and they gave me a hard time since my form was not stamped, due to having the Viajero Confiable program.  The airport more resembled the tiny airports I have visited in the Caribbean more than any I had seen in Mexico.  Getting the car from Hertz was another process.

We were on our way, but we were both hungry, so we stopped at an Oxxo for food and snacks.  I got a bacon-wrapped hot dog, nachos and cheese, and a seltzer, followed by a coffee.  Then it was back on the road, and I did what I do for the first long drive of every trip, put on “Red” and lit up a Davidoff Yamasa Toro.  The drive was boring and unadventurous.  I followed up the Davidoff with a Graycliff, while Roberto smoked a Gurkha, and we switched to Avril Lavigne’s “Let Go”.  Then we were at our destination.

The Plaque was right in the parking lot, so we took our picture there and looked around the museum.  We headed to the ruins, and I lit up a Canada Exclusivo Vega Robaina.  I had the inscription photo in hand, but I knew it would be no easy task to find the spot.  We wandered and wandered to no avail.  I tried going off the beaten path, but I had no luck.  I went back to find Roberto, and I then I saw it, off in the distance.

I used my spatial reasoning and determined that that had to be the right spot.  Roberto was walking right towards it, too.  I met him there and quickly confirmed it was the inscription spot.  We took our ceremonial pictures, and that was that.  I headed to a spot in the shade, in view of the inscription photo, where I sat down and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that we can head back to the museum and then get back on the road.  It will be a long drive to Puerto Penasco, and it is already late afternoon.  A very long drive.

Caborca, Sonora, Mexico

No, we didn’t make it to Puerto Penasco.  In the interest of avoiding an even later night, we called an audible.  Instead, we are staying at this lovely motel in Caborca.  I’m not being sarcastic.  This is actually a very nice hotel, and it is a shame we will be back on the road in just five hours.  Why did we call the audible?  Well, the long drive I promised turned out to be even longer than expected and much more brutal.  The biggest hurdle was these dirt road detours (due to construction on the main highway) that made the Dalton seem like an Interstate.  Add to that the plethora of trucks and buses we constantly found ourselves stuck behind, and it all made for very slow driving.

After I closed, we walked back to the museum, and I loaded up on the cheaply priced souvenirs.  From there, we headed back into town and stopped at a taco shop for lunch.  Tacos in Mexico are very different from tacos in America.  In Mexico, they give you a small tortilla (or two) laid flat with toppings, along with sauces on the side, much like a deconstructed thin-crust pizza.  I have never seen the hard shell U-shaped taco in Mexico.  I got a shrimp taco and a quesadilla, every bit as good as local Mexican food would be expected to taste.  In other words, to use my favorite phrase, quite good.

I lit up an Aroma de Cuba after lunch, and we were back on the road.  It was about 5 PM at this point.  I figured it would be a 9-hour drive to Puerto Penasco, including stops, and we would gain an hour since Sonora is an hour behind Chihuahua.  That meant, we’d get to our hotel in Puerto Penasco at 1 AM, and we could sleep until maybe 7 AM or a little later.  Roberto then informed me that Daylight Savings Time would be ending in Mexico tonight, so that meant we’d have another hour of sleep.  Well, we were wrong on all accounts.

The driving was much slower than anticipated, and Sonora does not change their clocks the same as the rest of Mexico does.  I took the wheel once we turned on to the main road to Sonora, and we were running out of daylight.  That’s when the fun began.  We encountered one of our many “detours”, which were carved-out dirt paths to work around the highway construction, very slow going.  We stopped to take some pictures of the desert at sunset, and I ditched my cigar at that point, switching to an Aging Room shortly thereafter.

We were now going through mountain passes, weaving in and out of trucks and buses.  It was not an easy drive.  If I had to do this solo, it would have been a contended for one of my five most difficult drives of all time.  I shudder to recall those disastrous nights in Yugoslavia three years ago.  Our plan was to get dinner in Agua Prieta, which is right by the border with Arizona, then continue straight to Puerto Penasco.

We gassed up in Agua Prieta, and there was a restaurant right there, but we weren’t hungry.  Besides, we just wanted to get on the road.  We got snacks and drinks at the Oxxo, along with each getting a small hot item, the price of everything shockingly cheap.  Roberto took the wheel, and I lit up an Oliva after I was done eating.  I passed out after my cigar.  When I woke up a few hours later, everything was wrong.  We had made far too little progress.  I looked at the maps and time, and I knew that going to Puerto Penasco was no longer advisable.

We called an audible.  I might have slept a little more, but not much.  In the end, we decided we would stop at Caborca, which was en route, so I lit up an Alec Bradley for the rest of the ride, which I’m still smoking now.  We could get there around 1 AM.  We’d have to be back on the road by 7 AM, though.  It meant Roberto could get his five hours of sleep, and I would get less, due to writing my entry, but I made up for it by sleeping in the car.  We called around and found a motel that could accommodate us and looked nice.

Soon enough, we arrived at this motel meant to look like a desert oasis, Hotel Posada del Desierto, which was much better than I expected.  We settled into our room, and then I came out to the pool, where I sat down and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that I can publish and get some sleep.  We are in the desert now, and tomorrow we will visit the protected area of the desert that has been inscribed as a WHS.

The Borderlands: The Experience - Day 0 - A Dysfunctional Departure

“The Borderlands: The Experience”

10/28/16, “A Dysfunctional Departure”

John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York (JFK)

Typically this would be the time when I right abut how familiar this departure is, that I’m flying to Mexico City on Flight Aeromexico 401 for the now fifth time, that I’m meeting up with Roberto for the now third time, that I am exploring World Heritage Sites in Mexico for the now sixth time, etc.  In fact, writing about how familiar this departure has become has itself become familiar.

Well, actually, this departure had none of the familiarity of the previous departures (find the familiar within the unfamiliar and experiencing the unfamiliar within the familiar, right?).  Instead, this has been an entirely dysfunctional departure.  With all due to that airport in the Caribbean where a fellow passenger told me that the last time he flew from that airport, people had brought cages with live chickens aboard as hand luggage, the past two hours have been far more dysfunctional.  From the coach to the airport to the security checkpoint to the newsstand where I got my soda, everything has just been dysfunctional.

It wasn’t even stressful, since I was well ahead of schedule and got to the gate with plenty of time for my entry before the flight, but it was the very dysfunction itself that bothered me.  It has been close to three weeks since I have last written, and that will be the longest gap that there will be these entries until the New Year.  Including this weekend, there are 10 weekends left in the year, and I will be travelling for 7 of them.  I have a friend coming to town for the only weekend in November I am not travelling, and I would have been going to Vegas that weekend if she wasn’t coming to town.

I will be away for the entirety of Thanksgiving week and the week between Christmas and New Year.  My travels through the end of the year will take me to four continents (including my seventh and final one), two natural wonders of the world (again, including my seventh and final), three more Olympic Stadiums (also including my final), and seven countries.  It promises to be a busy rest of the year before I sing Auld Lang Syne in Sydney and ring in the final calendar year of this five-year mission.

Okay, so Day 0, right.  Well, it was, by and large, extremely boring.  It was a slow and quiet day at the office.  Days -2 and -1 were far more interesting, but they are outside the scope of this Travelogue, though I will briefly mention them.  Day -2 (Wednesday) was closing night at the cigar shop and we had a nice little party there, a great crowd for a Wednesday.

Yesterday, Day -1, was an epic thunderstorm that served as the background for an outing with Stu.  A disappointing movie, an overindulgent dinner, and a chastisement from Live Schreiber was how that evening played out.  There were plenty of leftovers, and I brought those to the office today, intending to eat them both for lunch and dinner.  However, my coworker and I went to Subway instead, our Friday tradition.

I got my small sandwich loaded up with meat, sat down, started eating, and proceeded to spill my bottle of water.  Two people apologized to me.  Reader, this was 100% my fault.  I was holding the water, and I dropped it.  No one bumped into me.  No one distracted me.  I dropped it all on my own.  Two people apologized to me.  The first was the fellow customer who picked it up and handed it to me.  The second was the employee who mopped up the mess.  Again, these were two people who were doing me a service.  They both apologized to me.  I thanked them for their help and finished me meal.  I then lit up a Graycliff and biked up to Hunter.  I left my cigar outside class and biked back downtown as I smoked the rest of it on the way back downtown.

Though the cigar shop was closed, the workers were still packing everything up, so I was able to stand in the corner and smoke away from the cold.  I would have found more cheer in a graveyard.  Everyone was in such a bad mood.  It was so depressing, I quickly left and put my cigar in a planter by the bike docks.  I finished up at work and came back to the cigar store, which was now closed and locked, everything boxed up.  Another customer, whom I had sent a video from earlier, which didn’t go through until just then, thought people were still inside, so he showed up as I was about to walk away.  I retrieved my cigar from earlier, and we walked down Lexington Avenue together.  I headed to my apartment, and I was too tired and drained to go downtown for the Halloween party.

I watched TV for a bit before heading across the street to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner.  That was when the dysfunction began.  They sat me right next to the bar, and the waitress seemed not to understand basic English.  “Can I have some butter, please?”  “Butter.”  “Yes, butter, for the bread.  And a seltzer.”  “Seltzer?”  “Yes, please.”  “To drink?”  “Yes.”  The meal was as it always is, and I had some leftovers for Monday.

I went to my apartment and lit up my departure Cohiba.  Oh, I should mention that I can now legally bring Cuban cigars back from my travels.  This makes me happy.  Very happy.  I started to pack and realized quickly that a suitcase was overkill.  I would be arriving Saturday morning and flying home Sunday morning, which meant that all I needed to pack was my pajamas, one shirt, one pair of socks, and one pair of boxers.  I could find room in my computer bag for such a wardrobe, and I did.  Soon enough, changed into my travelling suit, and with my computer bag slung over my shoulders and nothing else, I left my apartment and biked up to Grand Central.

It was slightly past 8 PM.  The coach buses to JFK are every half-hour.  The next one was at 8:30 PM, or so they said.  It was almost 8:45 PM when it arrived.  I wasn’t pressed for time, so I didn’t really care.  I had finished my Cohiba, though, and I wished I had more of it for the wait.  When the bus came, it was a huge coach, much bigger than usual, 56 seats total.  It was just me and one other passenger.  The revenue they got from the two of us was much less than a taxi driver would get from one passenger, and these buses are much more expensive to run.

When we got to my terminal (Terminal 1), he stopped the bus, onloaded a passenger, and kept going, without making any announcement.  This despite him asking me at the start of the ride what terminal I was.  More dysfunction.  It had been such a short ride so far, about half an hour, that I thought we were still on the highway, which meant I was rather confused as to why he was onloading a passenger.  I checked Google Maps and discovered we were at Terminal 1.  Fortunately, he was able to let me off before he had gone much further.

The check-in process was relatively painless, but I was put in a middle seat.  However, due to my Delta frequent flyer status, they put me on an upgrade list.  When I went to the security checkpoint, that was when the fun began.  When I got to the checkpoint, the person in front of me took the last tray, as in the plastic trays I need to use to put my coat and laptop separate.  In other words, those are necessary for the basic function of the security checkpoint.  When I got to my turn to put my bag on the conveyer belt, the new trays still had not come out yet.  It was okay.  I had time.  I was patient.  It was just so dysfunctional.  One of the officers soon wheeled a stack of trays by me, and I reached for one, only for him to tell me that he needed to wheel the trays all the way to the end of the line, where I would need to walk to retrieve the tray and then walk back to the conveyer belt.  “Fuck that shit,” I thought to myself, and grabbed the tray anyway.  By this point, the conveyer belt had turned off, so I had to wait for it to start up again.

After the screening, I went down the usual corridor and headed towards the gate printed on my boarding pass.  “Oslo” it said.  Nope.  I checked the monitors.  The flight was now at Gate 1, a different corridor.  I headed there.  I needed a seltzer, but, that, too, proved a challenge, and the water fountain had very low pressure.  I cycled back to the first corridor to get my seltzer, and I won’t even get into how dysfunctional the cashier was there.  Eventually, I had my seltzer, and I went to my gate, where I sat down and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that I can publish before I get on my flight and pass out.

Remember the Alamo - Day 4 - "Houston, We've Had a Problem"

10/11/16, “Houston, We’ve Had a Problem”

George Bush Intercontinental Airport, Texas (IAH)

Despite the ironic title I have assigned to today’s entry, today actually went perfectly fine.  This is, in fact, the triumphant airport entry.  Like every other Day on this trip, it was long and exhausting, but we did everything we set out to do.  All in all, it was a very successful trip, but we are both more than ready to go home.  By the numbers, we visited five National Park Site units, including the World Heritage Site, an additional eight National Historic Landmarks, the State Capitol, and the two most famous buildings in Texas (the Alamo and Mission Control).  We did about 20 hours of driving over four Days to this end, and we are just ready to go home.  I will be returning to Texas in six months, and I will then be able to say, “Texas Complete.”  Until then, I can safely say that I have enjoyed my time in Texas, despite the stress entailed in executing our itinerary, and I will be glad when I have another chance to return.

This is usually the space where I would write a reflective entry, but I don’t have much to reflect on.  It is, I believe, my sixth trip into Texas, and the next one will be the last for quite some time.  It is a huge state, and they have been able to build the roads and support structure to accommodate for such expanses.  “Everything’s bigger in Texas” is not just a saying.  It’s true.  Even the coffee sizes are bigger here.  It is as much of an embodiment of the southwest as is imaginable, and my love affair with the Southwest is no less evident here than it is in other states.

I am close to being able to finally say, “Southwest Complete.”  Other than the annoying fact that I neglected to visit the Capitol when I was in Little Rock, I am two trips away from saying it.  The OK, Texas trip I take in six months will be one of them, and I also need to take one last trip to New Mexico to finish off that state.  That will be the end of it.  Technically, Arizona is considered to be in the West, not the Southwest, and I would probably need a standalone weekend trip to Arizona to finish it off.  Boarding will begin in about five minutes, so I will treat the entirety of today’s activities en route and allow myself a little more time for reflection.  It looks like I’m getting upgraded to first class, so I will actually close now to get my new boarding pass.

Aboard DL 3403, En route IAH-LGA

This plane looks like it’s from the same era as the Apollo Mission Control Center.  Somehow, though, surprisingly, it appears to have WiFi.  For that, I am grateful.  However, no outlets and limited overhead storage.  I’m flying first class on a four-hour flight, though, so I can’t really complain.  I’ll be napping soon in this very comfortable seat, which appears to be the newest part of the plane.  As for today’s events, as I said above, they were harrowing but successful.

After I closed last night, my mother and I headed out for ice cream, through a less busy neighborhood than the area where we were staying.  My mother was freaked out by it, but I kept remarking that Austin seemed to be “the Portland of the South.”  It’s, “Keep Austin Weird” slogan only reinforced that idea, as did the hipster gelato place that seemed better suited to Williamsburg than Austin.  They had exotic flavors and wooden spoons.  I just wanted ice cream.  Not this fancy gelato.

We got back to the hotel, and, in process that was far too stressful, planned our day tomorrow.  Only one thing mattered to me, seeing the inside of Mission Control.  We had no idea how that worked, if it was even possible.  I also wanted to see San Jacinto Battlefield, where the Texans remembered the Alamo and finally won their independence from Mexico.  My mother wanted to stop at the Lost Pines.  I had a schedule that would allow us to do everything and get to the airport in time for a flight, but we would need to be on the road by 8 AM.  That meant we would need to wake up before 7 AM.

We did.  I had no appetite when I woke up, so I got ready while my mother headed out in search of her oatmeal.  To my shock, I learned that, in a first, she had done the buffet breakfast without me.  I was heartbroken.  My appetite had recovered by then, and I would have wanted to do the buffet breakfast as well if she was already taking the time to do it.  We were on the road by 8 AM, and we stopped at a Wendy’s across from the gas station for my breakfast.  From there, it was straight to the Lost Pines, which were completely underwhelming.  It was a National Historic Landmark, so I lit up a Julius Caesar for our ceremonial pictures, and we walked around a bit.

From there, it was straight to the San Jacinto Battlegrounds.  At the battlegrounds, there was also the USS Texas, a battleship that saw service in both World Wars.  Both the battlegrounds and the battleship were National Historic Landmarks.  I lit up my Toscano, and we took our ceremonial picture at the battleship before heading to the view of the battlegrounds for a ceremonial picture there.  They had a huge monument, so we drove further up to the monument and walked around inside there.

Next stop was the Johnson Space Center, home of Mission Control.  We learned that the only way to see Mission Control was by a 90-minute tram tour, but we had budgeted for that.  We got our tickets, and I had just enough time to grab lunch before the next tour.  Figuring that it would be the food that an astronaut returning from space would want the most, I opted for a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a Dr. Pepper.  I scarfed it down before meeting my mother back in the line for the tram.

That’s when the rain started.  I was sitting on the outermost seat of the tram, so I got soaked.  I didn’t care.  I just cared about one thing at this point.  Seeing Mission Control and getting to the airport.  Mission Control was, in fact, the first stop on the tram, and they took us to the viewing gallery, where we could see all the instruments.  It was in its original condition, even down to the seatback ashtrays.  I could literally feel the history.  This was it.  “Houston, we’ve had a problem.”  This was Houston!  They did a little talk, and then we headed back down.  I knew this would be my one chance to finish my Toscano, so I lit it up, took my ceremonial picture with the exterior of the building, and smoked it until they had told me I had to get on board the tram.  It was pouring out, which did not add to the experience.

Across the street was the Space Environment Simulator Lab, another National Historic Landmark, but I couldn’t really get a proper picture with it.  Then we went to the space vehicle mockup facility, where they had mockups of all the different space vehicles.  That was really fun to see.  This was where the astronauts would train on the vehicles.  The last stop was the house that contained the Saturn V rocket, the same rocket used for the Apollo Mission that first brought man to the moon.  That was impressive.

From there, it was back to the VC, and we went right to the gift shop.  I got a few souvenirs, and the only thing left to see was the Kennedy Podium, where JFK first said that we choose to go to the moon.  We headed to the car and went straight to the airport, only stopping for gas.  We did our analysis of the trip and both concluded that, while we did enjoy some of the sites we saw, it was a very sparse and underwhelming trip.  We had, quite simply, chosen a boring location for a four-day trip, whose length was necessitated by the distance between all the sites.  We also agreed that we were scraping at the bottom of the barrel with some of the sites, such as Austin and the Lost Pines.  I was glad to have gotten that much close to “Texas Complete,” and we enjoyed our time together, along with two great dinners.

We dropped off the car and headed to the terminal, stopping at build your own pizza place, which had completely customizable options and a long line.  We were both very happy with our third dinner of the trip, my mother since she was able to get exactly what she wanted, me because I was able to get unlimited meats and cheese, along with mushrooms and onions, on mine.  We took our pizzas to the bar, where my mother got a glass of wine while I scarfed down half of my pie.  I would save the other half for the flight.

I headed to the gate, where I learned that two first class seats where available and that I was number two on the list.  Score!  I sat down at the viewing window, where I proceeded to write my earlier entry, closing it when it was time to get my first class ticket.  That’s when things got interesting.  One of the two seats (as in the physical seat) was broken, so I was out of luck, but she said I could have a two-seater Economy Comfort to myself.  I asked if she could just put me and my mother in those two seats.  She did.  It was a tiny plane, so we were glad to have that extra legroom.  I finished my pizza while we were at the gate and then washed my hands.

When I got back, I was told that they now had a seat in first class for me.  Reader, think how big of a boon this was for both of us.  My mother now got the Economy Comfort two-seater to herself, and I had a first class seat for the four-hour flight.  It worked out quite well.  When we were airborne, I ordered a coffee and a bourbon and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that I can relax for the rest of the flight.  I will also close out this trip.  Next stop: The Borderlands with Roberto, which are actually rather close to where we went this trip.

Remember the Alamo - Day 3 - On the Road Again

10/10/16, “On the Road Again”

Austin, Texas

Here we are, in the capital of Texas, after spending about eight hours in the car and four hours doing activities.  We spent almost the entire day on the road.  While we were able to spend the entirety of yesterday in San Antonio, that was the exception for this trip, we were on the road again, today, Day 3 being spent much like Day 1.  The only difference being today we embarked on our quest together, as opposed to Day 1 when I was on my own awaiting my mother’s arrival at SAN airport that night, as I made my way down the Gulf Coast.    Today was a very harrowing Day, though on paper it might not seem like a lot with our only activities for the day being two National Park Sites and dinner at Texas’s most iconic restaurant.

We did everything we meant to do, making up for the audible we had to call yesterday, and we eventually arrived at the hotel completely spent, no longer having interest in going out for any evening activities.  This is the last night we will spend in Texas this trip, but I have left some unfinished business here, and I will be returning to Texas and Oklahoma in the spring and spending a night in Waco.  In the meantime, I have many trips between now and then, many more opportunities to be on the road again, but that is the future.  It is time to recount today’s events.

After I closed last night, I soon went to sleep, and we woke up early to get an early start.  My mother went out to get her oatmeal and wound up at a McDonald’s, so she brought back breakfast for me, which I didn’t want to eat until we were on the road.  It would be almost three hours to our first stop, Amistad NRA, which is right on the Mexican border.  As soon as we started driving, we got a low tire pressure indicator light, which seemed odd, but I told my mother to pull over somewhere, and I got out to kick the tires.  They were fine, so I shrugged it off.  We continued, stopping only for gas, which somehow set us back 20 minutes.  We listened to an old favorite, Avril’s first album, which we listened to on so many road trips together when it first came out.  However, one loop was all my mother could tolerate of the punk rock, so we switched to John Williams music, followed by film scores.

Before long, we arrived at the VC for the NRA.  I asked a few questions as I got my stamps, and we learned that Diablo East, about five miles down the road, would have the best views.  We parked there, I lit up a Romeo y Julieta, and we started walking to a spot that seemed to have a good vista of the reservoir, and we could see Mexico off in the distance.  I pulled out my brochure to take a ceremonial picture, and, to our shock, we discovered that we were standing in the exact spot where the picture on the front of the brochure was taken.  We had some fun with that.  We walked around a bit as I finished my cigar before getting back on the road.  Our next stop was the LBJ homestead, known for my purposes as Lyndon B. Johnson NHP.  We stopped only at a Stripes for some snacks and a corn dog and Dr. Pepper for me, which, at 3 PM, served as my lunch.

From there, we continued to the homestead in Stonewall.  The VC was actually part of the State Park, and I had seriously estimated the extent of the park.  The ranger, not an NPS ranger, at the VC insisted that the Stonewall unit and Johnson City unit were two separate National Park Sites.  That was not possible.  She seemed not to understand what constituted a National Park Site.  I help up my unigrid brochure and asked, quite simply, if the Johnson City location had a separate unigrid.  She had no idea what a unigrid was, so I said, “This is a unigrid.”  She confirmed it was the same one.  The Stonewall unit had the birthplace, the cemetery, and the Texas White House, while the Johnson City unit had the boyhood home and another VC.  It would be very tight to see everything before the Johnson City VC closed at 5 PM, but it looked doable.

I lit up a Surrogates, and we headed straight to the birthplace to take our ceremonial picture there, continuing straight to the Texas White House, which had a VC, an old Air Force One, and the house itself, where the Johnsons lived most of their adult lives.  It was a nice home, and we then had to race to get to Johnson City.  We got to the VC with 10 minutes to spare and then took our ceremonial picture at the boyhood home before getting back on the road and heading straight to Driftwood to go to the Salt Lick BBQ Pit, Texas’s “most iconic restaurant”.  We stopped at pumpkin stand on the way and got some pumpkin pie ice cream cake, which was okay but not worth the stop.

Soon enough, we were at Salt Lick.  It wasn’t just a restaurant, it was a whole experience.  We parked and walked in to the pavilion, past the pit itself, and sat down.  I got the classic Thurman’s Choice, which consisted of brisket, ribs, and sausage, along with all the fixings.  There was a separate alcohol stand about 200 feet away, and you had to get the alcohol there and bring it back to the table, so I went to grab a Shiner Bock.

The food soon came out, and, while the fixings were disappointing, the meat was everything I expected out of a traditional Texas BBQ.  It was heavenly.  After I finished, I went outside with the rest of my beer and lit up half a Toscano while I waited for my mother to finish up.  I sat in the corner of the patio and had, what I like to describe as, my Magnificent Seven moment, pretending I was in an old cowboy movie as I smoked the same cigar they smoke in those movies.  I was finishing the cigar as my mother was coming out, and we headed to the car.

From there, it was the Texas Governor’s Mansion, and we were now under time pressure to get there by dusk.  We actually managed to get there right at sunset, and I scoped out the situation while my mother parked the car.  She met me in front of the mansion, and I lit up the other half of the Toscano.  We took our ceremonial picture and then walked across the street to the Capitol, which I had seen in 2013 when I visited Texas during the federal government shutdown.

My mother was very impressed with this building, which was the seventh largest building in the world when it was built.  We took some more ceremonial pictures there, managing to do so right before dusk.  I finished the cigar, and we headed back to the car.  From there, it was straight to the hotel, and we were completely spent when we arrived.

We checked in, grabbed some drinks from the bar (rye and seltzer on the side for me), and brought them back to the room.  We could see the dome of the Capitol from our room, and we relaxed a bit before I headed down with the rest of my rye to the outdoor pool, where I sat down in view of the general direction of the Capitol, lit up my Rinaldo, and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so that I can publish and strategize for the rest of the evening and the rest of the trip.  It isn’t even 9:30 PM yet, which is actually relatively early for me to publish my entry, but I will save any other adventures of tonight for tomorrow’s entry.