Mission

“These are the voyages of the traveler Steven. Its five-year mission: to explore the strange world, to seek out life and civilizations, to boldly go where few men have gone before.”

When I set out to see the world, my goal was to check off a bunch of boxes. I set some goals, got a full-time job, added some more goals, learned that taking 50 vacation days a year was not considered acceptable, figured out how to incorporate all of the goals I set, and had at it. My goal was never to explore new cultures, yet that is what these voyages have become. I have started to understand foreign cultures, but I have learned one fundamental truth. Human beings are, for the most part, the same.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Antarctica - Day 7 - Me Being Me

1/2/15
Cuverville Island, Antarctica

I think when I look back on this trip, I will realize that the only realize I made this landing was so that I could write that dateline.  It was pure fulfillment value.  I did not need to see any more penguins.  I would have gotten far more enjoyment value out of staying on the ship and smoking my Cohiba.  It is just past 9 AM here, and it is quite warm.  I just put my parka back on, but I had been walking around a little, taking pictures, in just my t-shirt.  It was quite bearable without the layers, but not particularly comfortable.  Anyway, I’m probably going to be here in this spot for the next hour and a half, since we are doing an 11 AM photoshoot, and I can’t miss that.  I really wish I could smoke my cigar here, but I am too visible, and, even if I could hide it, I forgot my cigar saver, so transporting the ash and butt back to the ship is not an option.

I guess it was last night I was wondering why Antarctica didn’t have any World Heritage Sites, or was not one in its entirety.  The answer I came up with was quite simple.  As non-sovereign land, there is no one to nominate any of the sites.  If it were nominated, there is doubt that any site nominated would easily be inscribed.  It is funny.  I am in possibly the most beautiful place in the world, and I just realized that, as soon as I finish this entry, I will be bored.  It’s not that I don’t like being here, it’s just that sitting in solitude in some beautiful outdoor location feels incomplete without a cigar.  Anyway, after I closed last night, I went up to the club, I think, or maybe everyone was already in the lounge.  I don’t recall.  No, I went to the lounge, and Dom was playing on the piano while Frances was busy on his computer.  I published my entry, and I guess I went back to my room to drop off my laptop.  I’m not sure if the group came down at that point, or if I found them in the lounge.

Either way, it was not long before we were playing Charades again, me, Beth, and Luke against Danny, Davey, and Luke’s sister.  I think we finished up around 1 AM.  No, I’m skipping ahead.  Sam came out, and she joined in the game as a designated guesser.  The highlight of the game was one of my clues.  It was Ernest Shackleton.  The other team quickly guessed Shackleton, but no one knew his first name.  The ran all over the ship trying to find something with his name, but no luck.  Luke’s sister (I’m just going to call her “Leia” for the rest of this entry) then acted out the first name.  She indicated that she was acting out the second syllable, and she pretended to be a mother hen.  The team guessed nest, and she indicated that they were correct, but they didn’t quite figure out how to put it all together, and started to guess crazy and wild things that made no sense in context.  Eventually Sam called out “Baby bird!”  Just like with Em and “The incident with the soup and the rice,” I will never let Sam forget the time when she guessed “Baby Bird Shackleton” at Charades.  

We then went outside to take pictures around one in the morning.  I don’t recall if Beth was still with us at that point.  No, I don’t think she was, actually.  We soon said our goodnights, and it was just me and Davey.  I asked him if he wanted to join me for a cigar, an offer he gladly accepted.  When I went to my room to get the cigars, I saw Beth in the lobby.  I chose a Fume D’Amour for myself, the Number 3 rated cigar of the year, and I gave Davey the Santana.

It was such amazing scenery to watch as we smoked our cigars, not missing the fact that we were on a boat, in Antarctica, smoking cigars, at two in the morning.  Wow, I’m really tired.  Maybe I’ll take a nap while I’m waiting for the photo shoot.  Anyway, we continued our conversation from the previous night/morning.  After our cigars, we went inside, and Frances soon joined us.  He engaged us in a gruesome conversation about what we thought were the worst ways to die.  Davey bowed out shortly thereafter, but Frances said he still had some juice left in him.  I went to check what time sunrise was (2:37 AM), and I met him back up in the club.  He asked if I was staying up for every sunrise, and I said that I was the type of person who would stay up until 3 AM with anyone for any reason.

We went outside at sunrise, an irrelevant concept with the cloud coverage and mountains, and I told him the infamous story that ended with “The pot you used to heat up the soup.”  I couldn’t tell it without cracking up every few seconds, and he would start cracking up every time I did.  He said that the story took me ten minutes to tell, even though it only should have taken 20 seconds.  I told him that made the story work so well was that it had three distinct parts to it.  He joked that, as a screenwriter, he could appreciate a story in three acts.  We talked for the next hour about screenwriting, which lasted about an hour.  As 4 AM approached, I said that I was going to have to bow out, hoping to get four hours of sleep.

I woke up for breakfast, not that I had much of an appetite.  I have found myself to have a very fickle appetite since I got back from Alaska, over five months ago.  Some days, if I don’t eat as soon as I get hungry, I lose my appetite and have to force myself to eat.  Other days, I am hungry all day, and, no matter how much I eat, I am hungry again every hour or so.  This trip has seen both days.  I raced to get ready for breakfast before my appetite was gone, but I don’t think I succeeded, not that I wasn’t able to eat.  I just wasn’t particularly hungry.  I was basically eating because I knew I’d be hungry again later.  Beth was sitting with Danny and his dad, so I went to sit down at the table, but Danny said he was saving the seat for his sister.  Danny's dad said that I should sit there and that they would pull up an extra chair for Sammy, but the waiters said that that was not allowed.

No worries, I went to sit down next to L---, and I prepared myself for her grandmother’s usual grilling.  She was actually relatively tame this morning, and Steve and Claudia soon joined us, them both happy to see me as always.  Oh, while I’m writing about Steve and L---, I kept meaning to write this to wrap up the water bottle story.  After the Last Sip, once I headed back to the landing site, I showed Steve and L--- my broken Nalgene.  As adventurous travelers, they understand the significance of what happened in a way that few other people would.  Steve asked me if I always brought it with me.  Of course I did.  He asked me how long I had had it.  15 years, I lied, combining the life span of Mark 1 and Mark 2.  He truly felt my pain.  L--- then said how easy it is to become attached to something like that and how it starts to gather sentimental value.  Yes!  They got it.  They understood.  That was why he also understood how excited I was to get the new one at Palmer Station.  He again said that he had never heard of a Nalgene cracking.  I realized that I was standing in front of the people who would know best about my theory of the cold contributing to the crack.  No, they said that they drop their Nalgenes all the time, outside, in the freezing weather.  Hmm, well, no matter.  There was no way to “uncrack” it.

Okay, back to breakfast.  After I ate my main course, I went to get a plate of pastries.  I ate the apple beignets and left the rest of the pastries on my plate, waiting to ask for a napkin.  L---’s grandmother then asked me sharply if I was going to take the rest of the pastries to go.  I assured her that I would.  Filching as much as food as you can was quite alright in her book, but wasting food was not.  I really wanted a cigar, so I planned to have one before I got on the Zodiac, but my group, which was second to last, got called to assemble.  Even if I went with the last group, I would not have time to finish the cigar.  I was in such a rush that I had forgotten something very important: the cord for my camera.  Since my camera was almost out of photos, I knew that I would have to delete a bunch of photos, a process that was much easier when I could just back up on the laptop.  Oh well.

We made our landing, and I walked off on my own to find a secluded cove to spend the time.  I found the perfect spot, took some pictures, deleted all of the pictures from Argentina to make some more room, and then I sat down and proceeded to write this entry.  As I was writing, I heard Meredith shout my name.  She was standing there with Adam, and they were indicating that a bird was over my head.  I didn’t care.  A little later, Beth’s mom walked by, asking why I wasn’t doing the hike.  I said that I just wanted to do my writing.  She understood and said that she was looking for a secluded spot, a nice rock to sit on, but that she didn’t want to distract from my view.

As she walked down the beach, Diego came rushing up to her, indicating that she shouldn’t go any further due to the treacherous terrain ahead.  Unable to find her rock, she just stood around.  I indicated a perfect rock to her about a few meters away from me.  Wait, why did I just write so much about her such for a rock seat?  Well, it’s kind of what I did, too, but I moved some rocks away so that I could comfortably use the ice shelf as a seatback.  I will now close so that I can maybe take a nap before the photo shoot.


At sea, M/V Corinthian, Croker Passage

It’s lonely at sea, and, until today, I guess I didn’t realize that.  It’s especially lonely when you find yourself constantly trying to get people to like the person you have been acting at, rather than your true self.  No, ever since I woke up yesterday morning, I have been my true self, and I have been seeing who likes me for me, and who was merely tolerating me.

There are other people who, seeing my true self, find a fun and crazy person to hang out, someone with whom they can share enjoyable experiences, but it’s different with L---.  When I see Davy, my thoughts go to what wild adventures we will pursue until the wee hours of the night, all the fun we will have, and the debates and conversations that will pursue.  With L---, it’s different.  I feel safe when I see her.  I feel relaxed.  I feel that I can let my guard down.  I feel that I don’t have to try and impress her or get her to like me.  It’s a feeling that, excluding my family, I feel with only one other person, well actually, two people, and they are the two people in the world whom I would most want to be on this ship with me.  It should be obvious to my reader the two people whom I mean, but I will say it anyway.  My best friend and my girlfriend.  I feel safe when I’m around them, and, over the past day or so, I have realized that I feel exactly that way around L--- and Davy.

When we were on the beach together, I told her that I didn’t think her grandmother liked me, and she said not to worry, that she acts that way with everyone.  I had a sneaking suspicion that the grandmother only acts that way towards me because she likes me.  Ever since Beth confused Africa and Australia, I have been teasing her about it at every chance.  I have my flaws, but one thing I am not, in any way, is malicious to someone who does not initiate against me.  Even then, I’ll usually just walk away or laugh it off.  So, when I’m teasing Beth about her geography, it is out of affection, not malice.  I think it is the same with L---’s grandmother when she teases me, and the events of tonight’s dinner confirmed that.

Alright, I’m in Antarctica, why the hell have I just spent a page writing about someone I will never see again after a few more days?  After I closed, I guess I did take my nap, since Beth’s mom would later confirm that she saw me sleeping.  I took a fucking nap on a beach in Antarctica!  I had brownies and coffee at a research station in Antarctica!  I have stayed up to sunrise for four nights in a row!  I have smoked a Cohiba on the continent of Antarctica!  It has not gotten so much as dim in five days!  There can be no doubt that this will be one of the best trips of my life.  I think that it will make the top three, due to the unique combination of the scenery and social experiences.

When I set out to see the world, I didn’t intend to discover myself.  However, I wound up losing myself.  Over the past few days, I have once more found myself, but first I had to lose myself.  After my nap on Cuverville Island, Sam was trying to choreograph this dance routine she wanted us to do, and she asked for my help.  I, of course, was no help.  I joked that she could do the March from the Nutcracker.  She considered it but came up with her own combinations of moves, instead.  Once the hikers came down, we spent a few minutes choreographing it.  I was still quite warm at that point, so I was just in my t-shirt.

Afterwards, it was time to get back in the Zodiac, so I put my life jacket on over my t-shirt and put my parka in my arms.  No, they wouldn’t let me do that and said that I couldn’t get on the Zodiac unless I was wearing my parka.  For good measure, they made me zip it up, too, like I was 12 years old.  When I got on the Zodiac, I basically whined to Beth that they made me wear my parka, for which she had no sympathy, saying it was a reasonable requirement on their part.  I lit up my Cohiba when I got back, having everything I needed packed in my parka, and then I headed down for lunch.

After lunch, I went to take my nap.  There is some theory that if you take a 15-minute nap every four hours, you do not need to sleep more than that.  Well, I had been doing something like that the past few days.  I had taken a 10 AM nap, and this was my 2 PM nap.  I would take another one at 6 PM.  The problem is getting the 10 PM and 2 AM and 6 AM naps.  However, the theory further states that you can count each nap as 90 minutes of sleep, so, if I take two or three naps, I can function on four hours a night of sleep.  It’s been working very well.

After my nap, I lit up an Ashton VSG and smoked it while the group went out on their Zodiac tour.  I only had interest in the landings, not in the tours.  Afterwards, we all wound up congregating in the club, and we exchanged Instagram usernames.  I went to the bridge to check our position and then went down for my 6 PM nap.  I woke up and got ready in time for the briefing.  While I no longer dress up for dinner, I feel an obligation to at least put on my suit pants, not willing to wear pajamas or sweats to dinner.  L--- was sitting next to her grandmother, and there was an empty seat on the other side.  She greeted me warmly, and I sat down next to her.

On Cuverville Island, she had asked me if I knew a Beth Anne Tyberg.  Of course I did.  I’ve known her for two decades.  This afternoon, I sent the BAT an email asking her if she remembered L---.  She did.  Before the briefing began, I showed L--- the BAT’s response, which she found quite amusing.  We all headed down to dinner, and L---’s grandmother counted off her, L---, little William and his parents, Karen, and Claudia, saying that they would need a table for seven.  They found a table for eight, and went to sit down when L---’s grandmother said, “I’m not sure you were invited.”  I couldn’t tell if she was serious or if it was her typical biting humor.  William’s mother counted off the seven names and eight seats and invited me to sit down next to her, and L---’s grandmother said to William’s mother something like, “I’m his favorite person on the ship.”  No, she wasn’t.  I’ve taken quite the liking to her, but L--- and Davy share those honors.

Claudia sat down next to me and moved her chair far closer than necessary.  The three of us would wind up spending a good portion of the meal discussing our significant others, how we met them, etc.  Well, as is typical for living with a hundred strangers for a week, people start to speculate on the different family stories.  Little William and his parents have provided my group with plenty of speculation.  William’s mother asked me what my story was and then decided she’d rather guess.  She was very spot on, and I said that she was good at it.  She said that she used to run a dating service called, “It’s Just Lunch.”  Had I heard of it?  Of course I did.  It has ads in all the airline in-flight magazines.

Alright, it is getting cold and windy, and my cigar is almost done, so I will wrap up.  I had gotten the fried cheese, but the portion was very meager.  Oh, when we were looking at the menu, I remarked to L--- that it was odd that they had fried calamari for dessert.  She responded in the exact tone and manner my girlfriend would have, “No, it’s fried Camembert, silly.  It’s cheese.”  I joked to Claudia that I would need to be getting an ice cream, too, so I asked for it.  While I was waiting, Claudia asked if I wanted to finish her ice cream, too, an offer I gladly accepted.  We then heard the familiar chime, and an announcement that was not audible over the din of the galley, but we heard it end something like, “You might want to go to the outside decks.”

We did just that, taking our wine with us.  After snapping a few pictures, we all headed back inside.  I got my parka and laptop and headed to the smoking area to light up my Padron.  I set my laptop to retransfer the photos and left it on the bench with the camera plugged in.  I then grabbed my wine and cigar and went in search of my friends.  I knew that we had come to a point in the trip where no one would give me crap for smoking outside away from the designated smoking area.  I was right.  However, I could not find my friends.  I knew where they were, and I also knew that it was one place where I could not smoke.  Confirming my suspicions, I found them on the bridge, so I went back down to the smoking area, where I proceeded to write this entry.
As I was writing, while the sun setting behind the mountains Denise came up to me, asking if I knew where everyone was.  I said that I last saw them on the bridge.  Well, on that note, I’ll close so that I can find my friends.  I’m not sure if I will have another entry for tonight or if I will just publish up to here.

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