1/17/17,
“The Return Journey”
Toussant
Louverture International Airport, Haiti (PAP)
And so
another trip comes to an end, and the time has come for one of my favorite
parts of any trip: the triumphant airport entry. If this establishing shot does not look like
a typical airport smoking lounge, it’s because it’s not. Instead, they merely zone off half of the top
floor of the airport, by less fancy duty-free shops, as a smoking section. Like the rest of the country, the ventilation
system is rudimentary, but it works, though there are no barriers between the
smoking section and the non-smoking sections and the shops.
This trip has a brilliant success, but I will
be glad to get off this island and back home as soon as possible. To say that Haiti is not one of my favorite
places would be an understatement. As
much as I loved Santo Domingo and anticipated a return visit, the opposite
could be said for Port-au-Prince. I can
say, with absolute certainty, that, unless Haiti gets another World Heritage
Site, I will never return to this country.
I’m sure my readers by now have realized that I’m not a
spend-a-weekend-at-an-all-inclusive-beach-resort kind of travel. In fact, I am quite the opposite.
The other night I worked up my list of top 20
or so trips to take in my 30s, and Timbuktu and the Congo were on that
list. Those are not exactly developed
countries, so I am not averse to travelling to what used to be called the “Third
World” or “Developing Countries” but is now known as the “Global South”. That said, it can also be very frustrating
travelling to countries like this.
Overpopulation is always a problem, and that leads to terrible traffic
and pollution. Even the best hotels do
not measure up to what I would consider a mediocre hotel almost anywhere in the
United States.
I miss corporate America
when I travel to the Global South. I
miss knowing that I can stop somewhere for lunch and be in and out in fifteen
minutes. I miss the luxuries that we see
as the basics brought about my modern technology. I miss having a fast data signal on my phone,
though I am thankful that I can now get a signal that is good enough to upload
a photo to social media from almost any country in the world, even if it’s a
slow process.
I have gotten good enough
at planning trips that I feel confident in my ability to arrange a visit to any
national capital in the world (even Pyongyang if I wanted) and almost any World
Heritage Site. Some of the sites on
remote islands pose a unique challenge, but anything on any of the continental
mainland would be accessible. I have
gone on some very ambitious trips, both for the difficulty of reaching certain
locations or for the aggressive schedules I have planned for myself.
I have done well in both regards, and, in a
few years, when I plan to go to Virunga or Timbuktu or take the Trans-Siberian
Railroad across Russia or do my CFA island hopping trip, I have the utmost
confident in my ability to pull it off.
In these regards, Haiti is pretty much around the median for difficulty
of travel. I think countries like
Pakistan or Lebanon or any of the “Stans” in Central Asia will prove more
challenging than Haiti, while the island nations of the South Pacific will
prove easier, along with all of Europe.
I have been to 71 countries, and by my count, there are 197 in the
world. I have been to about a quarter of
all World Heritage Sites. I did the vast
majority of this in the past five years.
As I continue my travels, I will work towards that moment when I have
been to every country and national legislative assembly building, along with
every World Heritage Site and can, at last, say, “Earth Complete.” However, with a dozen or more World Heritage
Sites being added every year, it is always a moving target.
Okay, before I continue, I need to return to
this geography that I’ve been discussing.
Trinidad and Tobago. It is a
small island in the Lesser Antilles, which means that I counted it in my
country count for the West Indies and, by extension, North America. However, like Curacao, it is on the shelf of
South America and should thereby properly be considered part of South
America. I suppose it is a moot point,
since I have already said “Trinidad and Tobago Complete” four years ago, but I
wonder if I could have claimed that as my first visit to South America, rather
than waiting for Ushuaia almost two years later. As I said, it a moot point. My trip to Iceland has been book and paid
for, and everything else in North America has been fully planned.
After I closed last night, I relaxed for a
bit before heading down for dessert, again cake, coffee, and ice cream. I then discussed with various people plans
for the inauguration (spoiler alert: I’m going, I think). After that, I published my photos before
going to sleep and getting quite a lot of sleep for the first time all
trip. I headed down for breakfast and
got a creole omelet (just an omelet with onions, peppers, tomatoes, and ham),
along with bacon and coffee. I also had
a Caoba, just like I had (and forgot to record) yesterday morning.
After breakfast, I packed and got ready. I went to check out, and I saw that they had
charge me for the room, even though I had prepaid it online. It’s not my fault that they were too
dysfunctional to keep my voucher. I told
them that I would dispute the charge with the bank if they charged me twice,
which would create major headaches for them, along with the nasty reviews I
would write online. Eventually the
manager came, and he told me where I could find some souvenir shops down the
block, and one of his staff would take me there. He said he would figure it out by the time I
got back.
I went, and they had some nice
keychains but not much else that interested me.
I had my replica and flag pin from Cap-Haitien, and the keychains would
seal the deal. I got the keychains and
headed back up the hill. He said that he
found the reservation under the Expedia listings, not the Booking
listings. Okay, why they were looking at
the Booking listings was beyond me, since I had said numerous times it would be
under Expedia. They presented me a new
credit card slip to sign for my meals, and I signed it.
He then had his driver take me to the
airport, and the traffic was, as predictable, brutal. When we got to the airport, the driver asked
for a tip (not a fare, just a tip), so I gladly gave him about half of what I
paid the taxi driver who brought me to the hotel from the airport, and he was
very grateful for it. Now that I think
about, I am realizing that the amount that I paid last night that seemed high,
probably actually included the airport ride this morning, so I guess it all
evened out in the end. As soon as I got
out of the car, someone approached me and tried to take my bags, but I waved
him off. Instead, he escorted me to the
JetBlue counter, where he demanded a tip.
He provided me no service, but he was insistent that I tip him for
showing me where the JetBlue counter was (as if I wouldn’t have found it on my
own). I turned him down again. I checked in and headed to security.
I lost my bottle of Dominican rum to
security, but, for some reason, my full water bottle didn’t raise any issues,
nor did my lighter. As I said, an
entirely dysfunctional country. I went
to the main duty-free shop and used the last of my gourdes on a nice bottle of
Haitian rum. I then asked where the
smoking lounge was. The cashier said I
smoke upstairs by the bar. I went
upstairs, and I saw a bookshop with t-shirts, and they even had flag pins! Perfect.
The airport flag pin at the capital would supersede the one I got in
Cap-Haitien, and it has even become a bit of a tradition for me to only find
the flag pin when I travel to this region at the airport, at the end of the
trip, after all other hope has been lost.
They Iceland flag pin Reykjavik is the only that remains, besides the
subnational flag pins from Greenland and Newfoundland. I also found a place where I could get a
three-pack of Cubans (Hoyo de Monterrey).
My shopping done, I went to the smoking area, put my bags down, and
bought a much-needed lemonade (which means something very different outside of
the states). I then sat down, lit up my
Hoyo de Monterrey, and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close so
that I can finish my cigar before I head to the gate.
En route,
Danny’s Uber
I usually
prefer a good old yellow cab to an Uber back from the airport, but I couldn’t
pass up a 15% discounted fare, and you always get a good adventure when you are
solicited by an Uber driver at the airport, in this case one who was glad to
smoke a cigar with you en route. On that
note, without realizing it, I broke with tradition in my earlier entry, as it
slipped my mind that my usual tradition is to treat the return journey in its
entirety so that this entry has a little more bulk than just the flight
itself. I should have cut that entry
short after the souvnenirs in Port-au-Prince, but what’s done is done.
After I closed at PAP, I headed towards my
gate, and I had to go through another security check since it was a US
flight. My boarding pass said that
boarding was at 1:52 PM. Apparently,
they had started boarding much earlier, and my name was called at 1:50 PM, and
I was told to hurry on the plane. The
flight was incredibly annoying. There
seemed to be a sick passenger a couple of rows up, but I only discerned that
from the smell of rotten eggs and few whispered conversations. The flight crew gave no explanation for the
incredibly slow delay in service, which it took over an hour for me to get my
first drink (coffee), even though I was in Row 8 and almost another half-hour
after that for snacks.
They almost
immediately came through with the snack boxes, and I bought one. It was an assortment of salted meat, cheese,
and crackers. There was no knife, no
napkin, and no beverage. It was less
than ideal, no say the least.
Eventually, though the drink service and snacks came through, followed a
bit later by internet access. When we
finally landed at Kennedy, I saw that it was pouring out, so taking the bus,
with my four shopping bags of hand luggage (in lieu of the suitcase I was now
regretting not packing), was not an option.
I cleared border control without delay, but it was 10-minute walk to the
taxi stand, with my four heavy shopping bags in hand. JetBlue customer service will be getting a
very angry customer service letter from me shortly. When I got outside, there was a long taxi
ride, and an Uber handler offered me a ride, but it was more expensive than a
taxi. I almost immediately realized
that, with Uber I didn’t have to give a tip, so it actually would have been
cheaper, but someone else offered me a ride almost right away for a cheaper
price. I accepted.
When we were on our way, he said that I could
smoke and asked if I had one for him. I took an LFD for myself and gladly gave him a Nub from my bag, though I wanted to give him one of the Dominicans I had brought back, but they were in the truck. We lit up our cigars, and I proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close, along with closing out this trip. Next stop: well, I’m going to DC for the Inauguration, but that won’t have an overnight stay, so it doesn’t really count. I guess it’s New Mexico next weekend, then.
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