1/28/17, “Of
Forts and Volcanoes”
Taos, New
Mexico
When I
travel domestically, I almost exclusively do so to visit the various units of
the National Park Service, which now number around 420. At the onset of this trip, I had visited 263
units, and these trips allow me to pursue that moving target, as new sites get
designated almost every year. Like World
Heritage Sites, National Park Sites can either be cultural sites, such as a
famous, historic fort, or natural sites, such as a beautiful, scenic
volcano. There are also use-based sites
known as National Recreation Areas, but that is for another entry.
When I set out to see America the Beautiful,
I do not look at the various National Park Sites and decide which ones pique my
interest. In fact, I do quite the
opposite. I pick a geographical area I
want to visit and then plan a trip based on which National Park Sites are in
that geographical area. I do, after all,
want to see them all eventually. While
National Parks do take precedence over other types of units, I have already
visited every National Park on the continental mainland. I do not do any research on the sites
beforehand, other than logistical concerns (operating hours, location, time
necessary to allocate on-site, etc.). I
do not care why the fort was famous and historic, and I do not care how
beautiful and scenic the volcano is. I
care about how where it is located, when I can get my stamp, and how long I
will need to spend on-site. That’s
it. Everything else I will either learn
at the VC or by seeing the site itself.
I have been to so many forts and battlefields like this, knowing nothing
about it, or even what war it was from, until I arrive at the VC. Likewise, I have been to so many volcanoes
and mountains with a similar lack of knowledge.
It doesn’t matter. It’s all about
the stamp. America the Beautiful,
indeed, and one day I will have seen all of them, along with every state
capitol, but that day is a long way off, probably close to a decade off. Until then, I will carry on and keep checking
off units. That, along with some
unfinished business at the nearby Taos Pueblos, was the purpose of this trip.
After I closed last night, I went to sleep
and was soon awoken, as Connor was about to pick me up. We stopped at a Jack-in-the-Box for
breakfast, which we ate in the car.
After breakfast, as we drove to the fort, we listened to Connor’s road
trip mix, and I lit up a Davidoff Yamasa Toro.
After his CD, we put on Red, but we were at the fort before the album
(or the cigar) was done.
We learned at
the VC that the fort (Fort Union National Monument) was from the 19th
Century and was pivotal in the defense of the Southwest during the Civil War
and various Indian campaigns. We walked
around and took some ceremonial pictures.
It was actually a lot more interesting than some of the other forts I
had scene, since the clay construction was well preserved in the desert. After our pictures, we headed back towards
the car, and we lit up a pair of Auroras for the road.
We stopped in Raton for gas and lunch at a
Mexican place attached to the gas station.
In addition to procuring a bunch of snacks for the car, I got a chimichanga
and nachos with cheese. After lunch, we
got in the car, lit up a pair of Aroma de Cubas and headed to the volcano
(Capulin Volcano National Monument).
When we got there, about half an hour later, we learned that it was
closed for renovations. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
The VC and the road to the volcano was
completely closed for renovations.
Without a stamp, there was no way I could mark this as my 265th
Unit, and it would necessitate a return visit.
There was a closed off gate, but the sign was not far down the road, and
I could walk to it to take a great picture, but, still, no stamp, no
credit. I was devastated, but I would
need to make the best of this. I
attempted to walk around the gate, which meant walking over the cattle guard, only
to get my foot almost stuck in the cattle guard. Connor wants me to record the exchange that
followed in its entirety. “What do you
expect,” he asked, “it’s a cattle guard!”
“I’m a human,” I responded, “not a cattle.”
I made my way to the sign and took a picture
there, though it was hardly ceremonial.
We got back on the road and figured out how to plan a return visit. In the end, we figured out it would have to
be another 2-day trip with one day for Gila and another day for Capulin. It was really fucking annoying. We made our way to Taos, only to have our eye
caught by a line of various state flags.
In figuring out what the flags were doing there, we discovered that it
was an NRA Center.
Since we had time, we
figured we might as well check it out, and I also figured that a gun center
would not stop me from my smoking my cigar inside. I was right.
They had a shop inside, but the ranges were BYOG (Bring Your Own
Gun). We looked around a bit, and Connor
said that when we return to visit Capulin, he has some old rifles he can bring
for us to use at the range. That sounded
like a plan.
We made our way to Taos,
and he asked where the hotel was. I told
him that it was the same hotel we stayed at last time we were at Taos. Well, it turned out that I had actually
booked the hotel across the street.
Whoops. That was pretty representative of the comedy of errors that
today has become. Once we got to the
hotel, we engaged in some tomfoolery involving Connor filming himself talking
backwards and reversing the video on Snapchat to do some funny effects. We then took a nap before heading out for
dinner.
We went to this dinky little
Mexican restaurant that was absolutely packed.
We got chips and dips to start, and I got enchiladas for my main
course. It was beyond delicious. We got a cake to go, and then our plan was to
go to the cigar shop, which was across the street, but it was closed. Instead, we went to the liquor store to get
some drinks for later. There was some
drama involved in figuring out how much we wanted to drink and when, and he
wound up going back to get more while I went to the hotel to eat my half of
cake and get started on my entry.
I ate
half the cake, which was quite good, and then I went to fill up my Christmas
Pipe. It was at that point that I had
realized a huge error. I had packed my
2008, 2010, and 2011 Christmas Pipes (I do not own one from 2009), but I had
thought that I had packed the 2010, 2011, and 2012 Christmas Pipes, as the 2008
and 2012 Christmas Pipes both do not have sleeves and look somewhat
similar. Because of that, I had smoked
my 2010 Christmas Pipe last night, and that meant I had gone out of order. Fuck!
I was seriously pissed. In all my
years of smoking Christmas Pipes, I think I had only made that error once
before, confusing the 2006 and 2007 Christmas Pipe. Well, the 2008 Christmas Pipe had to be
smoked. It was the same pipe I smoked in
Mont Tremblant, Vienna, the Corinthian, Xi’an, and Cairns. Taos will do well to join that list, even if
it was smoked out of order.
I then went
outside and sat down. I had the perfect
establishing shot, and I was about to start writing my entry, when Connor
pulled up in his truck and parked directly in front of our room, ruining the
shot. I told him that he ruined the
shot, and he said that he had actually thought about. Something about Connor is that he is very
observant, and I am very predictable if you observe me properly, so he knows
all my routines, all of my quirks, and often makes jokes to that effect,
knowing that certain actions he takes will necessary find their way into the
Travelogue. I moved the chair, then with
some difficulty, cutting my finger on the cap in the process, managed to open
my beer. I then sat down and proceeded
to write this entry, which I will now close so that I can publish before we get
toasted.
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