5/20/17, “Just Around the Riverbend”
Albuquerque, New Mexico
It seems as if the third time was the charm for visiting
Taos. In life, just as in travel, you
never know what is waiting just around the riverbend. While my travel decisions are less impactful
than Pocahontas’s decision of whether to marry Kocoum or see what might be
waiting just around the riverbend, the concept is relevant. I like to call them “on-the-ground conditions.” That could be something as simple as the
parking situation or what souvenir stores are in a city. Sure, that kind of information can be scouted
out in advance, to some degree, but the on-the-ground conditions can never be
fully assessed before departure.
Construction can cause delays, and road closures can force detours. The difference between being able to pull off
an ambitious agenda and coming up short will come to these on-the-ground
conditions because you truly never know what is waiting just around the
riverbend. The same is true in
life. Every first date or new
opportunity is a riverbend, and, if you do not pursue a given opportunity, you
will never find out what is waiting just around the riverbend.
That was what I had in mind today. This trip was designed around getting stamps
and seeing the Plaque at Taos Pueblo, but I had no way of knowing what was
waiting just around the riverbend, what the on-the-ground conditions would be
at Taos. When we went two years ago,
they said the stamp was broken and being replaced and that the Plaque would be
up by summer. I hoped for the best, and
my ambitious agenda for the day would require perfect execution and no
surprises just around the riverbend. I
had to be on the road at 6 AM if I wanted to take care of my business at Taos,
visit Capulin Volcano, and also see the two NPS I needed to see in the Texas
Panhandle.
After I closed last night, I
soon passed out and woke up a few hours later, right before 6 AM. I got on the road and stopped at McDonald’s
for breakfast. That was when the fun
began (sarcasm). I did the drive-thru,
ordering a coffee, hash brown, a McGriddle, and a biscuit sandwich. I paid at the next window and then got my
coffee at the following window. She
mumbled something that I didn’t quite understand, and it seemed there was
another window for the food. I couldn’t
find another window, so I circled back around and pulled up to that window,
asking what to do. The guy behind me
started honking and cursing at me. It
turned out that they had a designated parking area and run the food to
you. I explained to the guy behind me
that I had never seen a drive-thru that worked like that. He said that he had never seen such a moron. It was way too early to pick a fight with
him, so I drove to the designated parking area, and he left with his
coffee. They soon brought my food to
me. I put my coffee in the cup holder
and the McGriddle and hash brown on my lap.
I left the McDonald’s and turned onto the road that led to the
highway. Then a few things happened in
rapid succession. My McGriddle slid off
my lap, and I caught it as it fell down the space between the space and the
elbow rest. I started to retrieve it,
and the next thing I knew was the unfortunately familiar smell and sound of
smoking metal. I had hit the curb and
damaged the axle. This car would not be
taking me to Taos today. I knew that any
delay would cost me my ambitious agenda, and I knew this would be a long
delay. I tried to calculate which
site(s) I could jettison, and I realized, much to my dismay, that I would need
to jettison the two sites in the Texas Panhandle, which are over four hours
from the nearest site I have yet to visit.
In other words, when would I ever get a chance to visit them? I called Enterprise, and they called a tow
truck.
It was a surprisingly quick
process, and I was in a new car and back on the road in less than two hours. The tow truck came almost as soon as I hung
up with Enterprise, and he loaded my car very quickly. I ate the rest of my breakfast (minus the
now-lost McGriddle) as we headed to the airport. He had to make a quick stop for another
customer on the way, but we got to the airport much quicker than I expected,
and they put me in a replacement almost immediately. I entered Taos into the Navigation and got
back on the road. I lit up a Camacho and
was at Taos before long, listening to a particularly disturbing episode of
Howard Stern.
I was ready to find out
what was waiting just around the riverbend.
I asked about the stamp and Plaques.
They didn’t have a stamp, but they had stickers, which they had last
time. I asked for seven stickers (last
time they were adamant about only one per customer), which I could use for all
of my paperwork. She reluctantly agreed. She also said that the Plaque had fallen and
broken and that they were still waiting on a replacement from the National Park
Service. In other words, I could have
literally paid for 7 admissions two years ago, just to get the 7 stickers, and
it would have been a fraction of the price of this trip. I gained nothing else. I put the stickers on my paperwork where I
would have otherwise put a stamp, and then went into the Pueblo.
My first stop was lunch, a traditional chili
with fry bread and coffee. It was good
but spicy. I lit up an H. Upmann, took a
few ceremonial pictures, and got a souvenir.
That was that. From there, it was
a straight shot to Capulin Volcano, which had been closed for the season when
we went in January.
After the H. Upmann,
I lit up a Graycliff, and, when it was done, stopped at a Sonic for a
milkshake, also getting a mini popcorn chicken and some tots. I finished it just before I got to the site,
and, by this point I was starting to get tired of Howard. He spent a significant part of the past 8
hours laughing about someone mispronouncing the word “cheeks” in a way that
sounded more like “treeks.” He must have
played that clip over a dozen times.
I
got to Capulin and did my business at the VC.
This was an actual volcano, and you could drive up to it. Once your were there, you could walk up to
the rim and walk down into the crater. I
lit up a Prensado and did both walks. It
was pretty cool being inside the volcano.
I took my ceremonial pictures and headed back to Albquerque. It would be 8:15 PM by the time I got to
Connor’s place. I stopped only for gas,
and, by that point, Howard had looped back to where I started this morning, so
I switched first to the new Beatles channel, then to various stand-up comedy
channels. I lit up a special edition
Diamond Crown I had gotten in Oklahoma called a Black Diamond.
I met Connor at his place, and we went out to
Blake’s Lotaburger, which is New Mexico’s most iconic native fast food
chain. I got their specialty green chili
cheeseburger, along with fries and a water.
They cook all the food fresh, it seems, and that meant it was a bit of a
wait. The burger came with, unbeknownst
to me, tomato, lettuce, and mustard. The
tomato and lettuce I could easily discard, but the mustard was slathered right
onto the bottom bun. I explained my mustard
allergy and I asked for a new bottom bun.
It was taking way too long. It
turned out, they wouldn’t just give me the bottom bun, and instead they had to
make a whole new sandwich. I was
fuming. Where was the rationality behind
that? It was another ten minutes. The burger was good, but not that good, and
the green chili was so spicy it made my eyes water. I really struggled with it.
After the burgers, I got a brownie, and we
headed back to his place in time for SNL season finale. Raymond’s brother, Pete, and Pete’s
girlfriend, who live in Albuquerque, joined us, too. It was an excellent episode, the best in
months. Connor then opened a bottle of
Champagne, which had actually just become sparkling vinegar. It was Dom Perignon. That hurt.
I took one sip and not another sip.
Such a waste. After the episode,
we all went outside for cigars, a L’Atelier for me. I was fading and having trouble staying awake. They left after I finished my cigar, their
cigars unfinished. By they, I mean Pete
and his girlfriend. Connor stayed, of
course. I sat down on the couch, where I
lit up my trusty Ardor and proceeded to write this entry, which I will now close
so that I can publish and get some sleep.
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