7/11/15, “Across the Prairie”
Winnipeg, Manitoba
See those two words? “Winnipeg,
Manitoba.” I have been waiting two years
to write that. August 19, 2013 was the
scariest night of my life. I was making
my way up to Winnipeg from North Dakota, and I got selected at the border for a
secondary screening, nothing unusual for me, which, in and of itself was odd in
that I always had trouble at the Canadian border, even before that night. This was different, though. I had raised some red flags or something,
maybe my itinerary seemed too odd, something raised their suspicions. They were looking for something. Without going into too much detail, they
found something, and I was certain I was going to wind up in a Canadian
prison. After three hours, I was “voluntarily
allowed to leave Canada,” which meant I had to go back around to the States,
and I was warned not to try again to enter Canada that trip. I had to find a hotel in North Dakota. Here is the beginning of that entry:
Grand Forks, North Dakota.
Unfortunately, this byline is not reading ‘Winnipeg, Manitoba.’ Fortunately, it is not reading ‘Canadian Jail,
Manitoba’ or having a date of a few days later, since they probably wouldn’t
let me use my computer in jail. The art
of travel is maintaining the fine edge between adventure and adversity, but to
call what happened today either adventure or adversity would be to underplay
it.
Now, here I am, at the end of my journey, at last in Winnipeg, sitting
on my hotel balcony, smoking an H. Upmann fresh from a box I just purchased, as
I stare at the Manitoba Legislative Assembly Building off in the distance. Life is good again. Life was not good that night. All in all, today was an extremely boring
day. I could probably properly write
this entry in one paragraph, that’s how boring it was, and I will do so, since
I am starving and want to get dinner.
I
slept in quite a bit this morning, which was difficult, since I have been used
to getting up early this trip, and I had trouble getting back to sleep. I had Canadian bacon benedict for breakfast,
with a side of wild Saskatchewan mushrooms.
That was my official meal in Saskatchewan. I published my entry and the rest of my
photos from Phase I of the trip before heading to the Legislative Assembly,
where I took my ceremonial pictures.
They were supposed to have a gift shop there, but it was closed down. My reader is well aware of my quest to
collect a flag pin in each Canadian Province.
I called another shop, which was actually like one building away, and
they had it. As I was going into the parking
lot, I misjudged a ramp and heard a pop from the side of my car. I bit my tongue from the impact and tasted
blood. When I parked, everything looked
fine. Okay.
I headed into the museum, and the determined
manner in which I walked into the gift shop was a dead giveaway. The clerk immediately asked me if I had
called for the flag pin. She had it for
me. Jackpot. I got my souvenirs and walked out, lighting
up my Partagas and announcing, “Saskatcehwan Complete.” I then called a cigar shop. They had what I wanted, and the prices were
slightly more reasonable. They also had
some more affordable blends. One
problem, well, two actually. First, it
was inside a mall, so I had to leave my cigar in the car. Second, I had a fraud block on my debit card,
so I had to call my bank. It ate into
some of my Dutch time. I got on the road
and headed to Winnipeg. Then I got the
low pressure light for my tire. Sure
enough, the tire was losing air. I had
to stop a few times to repressurize the tire, which did the trick, since I could
not find a tire shop that was open, and I could not take the time to change the
tire by hand.
I stopped at a DQ for
lunch, which was delicious, and I was soon at the Manitoba border, where I took
my ceremonial pictures with the sign. I
lit up a Padron, found a nice downgrade to hit 100, and continued to
Winnipeg. Oh, while I was at the DQ, I
called a souvenir shop in Winnipeg. They
said they were open late and had flag pins.
Perfect. I put that in as my
destination. After the Padron, I opted
for my last Las Calaveras I had brought, which was falling apart and smoked
like shit.
After a long and boring drive
across the prairie, I was soon at the gift shop, which was in a shopping
mall. They were open. Yes.
They had flag pins. Yes. Wait, no.
What! FUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!! They only had Canadian flag pins, no
Manitoba flag pins. This was the only
place that would opened late, and everything else would not open early enough
tomorrow for me to get to my flight in time.
I even considered switching my flight, but I was on the last flight out
tomorrow night, and a Monday morning flight (yes, I considered that), would get
me to work too late on Monday. No, no,
no. Besides, there was no guarantee another
place might have it. My best bets were a
gas station on the road or the duty free shop at the border. I checked every other shop in the mall. No, no dice.
I asked at the tourist office.
They recommended a gas station on the road and were convinced that
nowhere in town would have the flag pin.
This was the only souvenir area.
Alas.
Dejected, I headed to the
legislative assembly, where a wedding party was taking their ceremonial
pictures. The legislative assembly had a
gift shop, but it was closed on the weekend.
Fuck! They would have the pin if
anyone did. I then went to check my
8/19/13 entry for something. Yes, I had
had a Cuban and an ice cream in Manitoba, as the “International Peace Garden,”
north the 49th Parallel, which I was counting as my Official meal
and smoke for Manitoba. That meant the
legislative assembly was all I needed. I
took my ceremonial picture and announced, “Manitoba Complete. Canadian Prairie Complete.” I assured myself I’d find the flag pin
tomorrow and headed to my car. I then
went to my hotel, checked in, got a dinner recommendation and went up to my
room. I was planning on just going
straight to dinner, but I saw my hotel had a balcony with a view of the legislative
assembly, so I cracked open my box of cigars brought some furniture outside,
and sat down, where I proceeded to light up my H. Upmann and write this entry,
which I will now close so that I can publish and get some food. Tomorrow I am homeward bound.
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